tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-320917522024-03-13T17:03:20.924-05:00No Kids, No Life, Just a WifeJust an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.comBlogger105125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-71949033291424971182009-03-12T21:42:00.002-05:002009-03-12T21:43:24.463-05:00Wild Effing KingdomNo shit man. First, we have The Skunks, a lovely family of 5 living under the duplex porch. Then The Red Fox stalking the million and two Brown Fucking Bunnies, Moles, and Mice. The dogs that stalked my yard startling me at every available turn and turning Speck into a barking, humping maniac. <br /><br />Then we move in to our other house and have the Fat Old Ground Hog waaaaaay out back and the Younger Chicky Ground Hog living under my shed that dug holes and drove me nuts. And the Red Tailed Hawk that floated high aboveit all,(I don't have as many fucking bunnies), but I worried he'd get it into his head that Speck looked like a bunny..... THEN, over Halloween The Opossum showed up to dig holes in my pumpkins and my trash cans and toss my trash around the driveway with impunity. <br /><br />But two nights ago Jason and I woke up in the dark of night to a mysterious noise...... <br /><br />Bump. Bump bump.<br /><br /> SCRRRRRRAAAAPE BUUUUUUMP<br /><br /><br /> RRRRAAAATTLE<br /><br />So I figure it's The Opossum again fuckin with my trash can and I am up out of bed in a flash. Like in Twas The Night Before Christmas, Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. Or whatever. I have a shovel in the Florida room and some slip on shoes. I fly out the door...... and.................................... Nothing. There's absolutely No-Thing out there. Back to bed with me. Good thing I can hit the pillow,close my eyes and Nighty Night. I'm already drooling and mouth breathing. Zzzzzzzz........<br /><br /><br />Last night? The same bumping and thumping. Instead of flying out the door and trying to catch the culprit, I tossed myself angrily in my bed and thought of the many many MANY ways I could kill this Big Ass Possum. <br /><br />I have no issue at all smacking this little Trash Soldier with My Big Ass Shovel. Sometimes Soldiers, We Have To Kill Possums. I will, with extreme malice, chop his beady eyed, pointy head Oh Ef Ef. (That means Off for you peeps who don't dig phonetics)<br /><br />But, here's the little hitch in that giddy-up. I haven't seeeeeeeen the Possum in weeks. <br /><br /><br />Just. The. Noise.<br /><br />*RAWR*<br /><br />Tonight. This Very Evening I was sitting on my couch enjoying some NCIS and a little computing and all the sudden Speck looks up like something is amis. I stop, hit mute, and listen intently. See? I think subconciuosly I knew I was hearing the signiture Bump, Scrape, Rattle and Shake of my little Trash Can Minion. But, I think with a tilt of my head, it was early yet. Like way to early for our Friendly Possum to be up and prowling. On with the slidey shoes, shovel in hand out the door I zip to see........<br /><br /><br /> A Furry Ball on top of my Trash.<br /><br /><br /> With a Black Mask.<br /><br /><br /> And a Long Ringed Tail.<br /><br /><br />Somina Bitch I have a Raccoon now.<br /><br />A Big, Trash Lovin', Garbage Can Rattling, Inciter of Dog Fits in the O'Dark hours of the night RA-FUCKING-COON.<br /><br />Crap. Do I know anyone with a Have-a-Heart trap? They are cuter than Soldier Possum. I don't wanna Chop His Head off.Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-67080690584629662632009-01-11T16:22:00.007-05:002009-01-11T16:56:50.554-05:00Pizza Pie!I love pizza.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWpo9q4VWWI/AAAAAAAAAL8/7e7eCIBBiAM/s1600-h/IMG_4890.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWpo9q4VWWI/AAAAAAAAAL8/7e7eCIBBiAM/s400/IMG_4890.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290156120991947106" border="0" /></a><br />I love cooking.<br /><br />Why not love cooking pizza?<br /><br />Dough Recipe:<br /><br />3 1/2 cups flour<br />1 cup warm water<br />2 tablespoons Yeast<br />2 tablespoons honey<br />1/4 cup Olive oil<br />1/2 teaspoon Salt<br />dried Italian seasoning<br />dried Basil<br /><br />Pour warm water into a bowl. The water should be about 85 to 115° F. Test it with your hand. It should feel very warm, but comfortable. Add the honey and salt. Mix by and hand (or any other method) until well blended. Add the yeast and mix some more. Let this mixture sit for about 5 minutes, it'll get kinda puffy or foamy looking. That's a good thing.<br /><br />Add 1 cup of flour and the olive oil and mix until well blended, it should look like a batter at this point and you should be able to see it growing. Add the rest of the flour one cup at a time (and any other additions) and mix well. I added Italian Seasoning and Basil to mine. Next time I'll add garlic I think. The dough should turn into a ball. Now, mine did not. I needed to add about a half cup more water. If the dough does not ball up because it's too dry, add water one tablespoon at a time until it does. If your mixture is more like a batter, add flour one tablespoon at a time. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Adding water or flour as needed to get the right consistency will assure you always get a perfect dough. Just remember to do it in small amounts.</span> <p>Once the dough is balled up, place the ball on a floured board and knead for about a minute. This builds the gluten which helps the dough to rise and become fluffy when cooked. Place the dough in a plastic grocery bag or a covered bowl and store in a warm, dry area to rise.</p> <p>After about 45 minutes the dough should have about doubled in size. Smoosh it down. You should be able to hear the air escape. Let it rise for another hour to an hour and a half. The dough is now ready to be pizza.<br /></p><p>Divide dough in half. This recipe makes 2 crusts. I stuck my extra in a plastic freezer bag and froze it for another day. Pizza is a good comfort food, no?</p><p>Turn your oven on to 400 to preheat. Move your rack as close to the heat (whether it's on top or underneath) as you can get.<br /></p><p>Dust your work area with cornmeal. Toss your pizza dough ball on<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWpontEbNKI/AAAAAAAAAL0/xB4Lk7X3kyE/s1600-h/IMG_4882.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWpontEbNKI/AAAAAAAAAL0/xB4Lk7X3kyE/s320/IMG_4882.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290155743622411426" border="0" /></a> there and start <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">smooshing</span>. I flattened it out with the palm of my hand and by picking it up and stretching it. Whatever works best for you. Just make sure to get cornmeal on both sides of the dough. Throw it on you cooking tray (or whatever you are using, perforated pizza tray or cookie sheet. Obviously not if you're using a pizza stone.) Take a fork and perforate the pizza, leaving an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">unperforated</span> crust edge area. Supposedly this helps keep it flat.</p><p>Drizzle with olive oil and set it off to the side for 15 minutes or so.</p><p>Work on toppings. Whatever you want. I made a red and white with onions and mushrooms. YUM.</p><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWppiZYWU4I/AAAAAAAAAMM/d1SrY_F0f8Q/s1600-h/IMG_4884.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWppiZYWU4I/AAAAAAAAAMM/d1SrY_F0f8Q/s200/IMG_4884.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290156751949550466" border="0" /></a></p><p><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Pre</span> bake your crust for 13 to 15 minutes. It should puff up prettily.</p><p>Pull it out of the oven and add your toppings.</p><p>Back into the oven for 25 to 30 more minutes. It should be bubbly goodness when you take it out. Make sure the edges are golden brown and your cheese is nice and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">melty</span>.<br /></p><p>IMPORTANT NOTE:</p><p>Let the pizza rest for a few minutes or you will burn your mouth. It will hurt. You will not enjoy the pizza and all your hard work will be for nothing. Wait patiently. Trust me it's worth it.<br /></p><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWpqbE9TXFI/AAAAAAAAAMU/BP-1fYT9L8M/s1600-h/IMG_4888.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SWpqbE9TXFI/AAAAAAAAAMU/BP-1fYT9L8M/s400/IMG_4888.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290157725719944274" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-84563706658895921622009-01-03T14:51:00.004-05:002009-01-03T14:59:54.705-05:00Hey! I'm back. And I have food!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SV_CuwoM-wI/AAAAAAAAALs/FCjPNv0NYH4/s1600-h/IMG_4693.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/SV_CuwoM-wI/AAAAAAAAALs/FCjPNv0NYH4/s320/IMG_4693.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287158596139547394" border="0" /></a><br />So I decided top share my Top Secret Creamy Turkey and Herbed Dumpling recipe with you all. I think it's FAB, but if you don't like rosemary walk away right now. This is <span style="font-style: italic;">Heavy</span> on the rosemary.<br /><br />Feel free to play around with this recipe. I don't often measure so if you think it needs more stock, or mushrooms, or more onions, whatever! Add away! Food is supposed to be fun and delicious!<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Soup<br /><br />2 Cups chopped, cooked turkey (make sure to use dark and light meat)<br />1 big onion, chopped<br />2/8 butter<br />Garlic<br />Stock (I make my own but if you're using canned start with at least one big can)<br />1 small bag baby carrots Chopped (again you can use big carrots just chop them up and use however many you like)<br />1 cup Celery<br />1/3 cup white wine<br />1/4 cup heavey cream<br />Fresh Sage, Rosemary and Thyme, finely chopped (to taste)<br />Salt and Pepper<br /><br />Dumplings:<br />1 cup flour<br />1 tsp baking powder<br />1 tsp baking soda<br />dash of salt<br />lots of fresh cracked pepper<br />Finely chopped herbs (you can use any kind I just prefer rosemary, sage and thyme)<br />1/2 cup milk<br /><br />Mix dry ingredients and herbs, add milk and mix with fork<br />You may need to add more milk as you go. I started with a half cup and needed more but didn't measure. Sorry.<br />You want it to be the consistencey of a wet sticky dough, not firm like bread.<br /><br /><br /><br />To Make:<br /><br />Medium-low flame under a large stockpot<br />Toss in butter, onion and garlic to start sweating<br />Once translucent add the stock and the turkey<br />Add carrots, celery and chopped herbs (I also added 2 big sprigs of rosemary as it cooked. You may not want to right away. HEAVY rosemary if you do that.)<br />Cook until tender<br />Add white wine and cream<br />Taste! Add salt and pepper. Taste again.<br />Give it a stir and turn up heat just slightly to a fast simmer<br />Drop in dumplings one by one (use the 2 spoon method to get them all approximately the same size)<br />Now put the lid on and do not lift it for at least 30 minutes<br />Dumplings should be heavy and moist all the way through.<br /><br />It's soup!Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-81405486502761807262008-04-03T19:01:00.009-05:002008-04-08T06:56:59.783-05:00I get by with a little help from my friends....A couple of family friends are trying to make it all on there own but are having a hard time getting up there on the search engines. If you could all link them to your sites I would bake you all cookies or something. And also? Check em out! Great furniture, lovely cutting boards ( I have one. You are jealous), and girl pron! Thats what Romance Novels are right? Girl Porn.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.burgoonfurniturecompany.com/">www.burgoonfurniturecompany.com</a> That's Drew. He's a nice guy. With kids! Help send his kids to college! Yeah! Thats the ticket!<br /><br />And his Lovely Wife<br /><br /><a href="http://www.bethandrews.net/">http://www.bethandrews.net/</a><br /><br />Link their sites. It won't hurt you any and it might just help them get their sites up and running!Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-60622273208446051752008-03-31T19:16:00.003-05:002008-04-01T21:57:28.751-05:00How to Almost fall out of bed.<span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 1:</span> Sleep for a minimum of 4 hours with one or both arms thrown above head.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 2: </span> Have miserable little dog who growls and has fits if you disturb his beauty sleep. Where-in his chosen sleep station is across your lower legs.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 3:</span> Have very loud and annoying alarm clock that starts out with a fairly soft Beep Beep Beep which gets progressively LOUDER.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 4:</span> Alarm goes off<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 5:</span> I sit upright only to learn my left arm no longer works. In fact, it seems it is being eaten by <span style="font-style: italic;">Fire Ants</span> and is refusing to cooperate in any way.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 6:</span> Scoot carefully past dog to end of bed.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 7:</span> Think to yourself<span style="font-style: italic;"> "I can probably use my left arm to prop myself up so as to use my right hand to shut off this God-Awful NOISE!" </span> Thinking might not be your best idea first thing in the morning.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 8: </span> Try and prop myself up with my left arm which promptly collapses sending me careening toward the floor.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 9:</span> Save yourself by catching your face on the bed. Pout and rub your dead arm.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 10:</span> Your husband wakes up momentarily and asks if you are OK. When you reply, No, you are in fact not OK, you find out he doesn't really care. He has gone back to sleep.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 11: </span>Lay back down rubbing your dead arm while plotting your husbands death.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Step 12: </span> Start Miserable Day.Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-79000313265517496022008-03-30T13:54:00.012-05:002008-03-31T17:32:10.989-05:00Beef Stew for You.Well I'm back. I know I took forever to get here. Sorry 'bout that. Anyway today I'm going to give you my recipe for beef stew. It's good. And versatile! You could totally turn it into a pot pie if the idea tickles your funny bone! So lets get started!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_j_e6XNtI/AAAAAAAAAGA/1pa6Ii7UNt4/s1600-h/IMG_0441.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_j_e6XNtI/AAAAAAAAAGA/1pa6Ii7UNt4/s320/IMG_0441.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183612375895848658" border="0" /></a><br />I started with a bottom roast. It was pretty! Then I flipped that bitch<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_kNe6XNuI/AAAAAAAAAGI/y45NWRit4xY/s1600-h/IMG_0446.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_kNe6XNuI/AAAAAAAAAGI/y45NWRit4xY/s200/IMG_0446.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183612616414017250" border="0" /></a> over and cut off the fatty layer. You wont need it. You can cook it up and give it to the dogs. They love it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now I cut it into slabs about a half inch think. Then into half inch chunks.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_kde6XNvI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/pRf1x7LT-lc/s1600-h/IMG_0459.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_kde6XNvI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/pRf1x7LT-lc/s200/IMG_0459.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183612891291924210" border="0" /></a><br />(Note: I was really inclined to say bite sized pieces. But then I would have to get into the mathematical equation of bite sized. You measure your mouth and divide that in half, or thirds depending on how many flavors you want to put in there all at the same time. In this case it would be thirds. 1/3 for meat, 1/3 for veggies and 1/3 for broth. Just so you know.)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_l6e6XNwI/AAAAAAAAAGY/b-At5GNTtYA/s1600-h/IMG_0462.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_l6e6XNwI/AAAAAAAAAGY/b-At5GNTtYA/s200/IMG_0462.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183614489019758338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />NOW! We stuff all that beautiful meat into a gallon sized zip lock because we are going to marinate it for as much time as we have. I like to do it overnight, but it will work with just a few hours too. It's good like that.<br /><br /><br />What we will be marinating with is a concoction all my own. You can mix it up however you like. I have been known to throw a little Coca Cola in, or a bottled <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_mHO6XNxI/AAAAAAAAAGg/DRLHtKGpMVM/s1600-h/IMG_0464.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_mHO6XNxI/AAAAAAAAAGg/DRLHtKGpMVM/s200/IMG_0464.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183614708063090450" border="0" /></a>marinate from the store. What ever makes you happy. Here we are going to use black pepper, Chili Powder for a little heat, Worshireshireshire (I can't spell it let alone say it!) garlic, olive oil and Beer. Any beer you have on hand is good. Or you could substitute Soda. I just like to get it all loosened up in there with some liquids, and also they act as a tenderizer breaking down the nasty old connective tissue that makes meat tough. This ain't no Dinty Moore baby!<br /><br />So lets start adding!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_n9e6XNyI/AAAAAAAAAGo/APtuUOAlsOk/s1600-h/IMG_0465.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_n9e6XNyI/AAAAAAAAAGo/APtuUOAlsOk/s200/IMG_0465.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183616739582621474" border="0" /></a><br />4 shakes of black pepper (I KNOW! I am so technical right!?!?!)<br />2 shakes Chili Powder<br />2 full fork fulls of garlic (3 fresh cloves)<br />Once around the bag of Olive Oil (1/4 cupish)<br />15 - 20 shakes of Worshireshireshire, oh fuck it, it's Lee and Perrin's.<br />and 1 full beer or equivalent of soda<br /><br />Seal up that Zip lock and give it a shmoosh around to get everything mixed and throw it in the fridge for however <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_oNO6XNzI/AAAAAAAAAGw/pknqtgwE-b4/s1600-h/IMG_0471.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-_oNO6XNzI/AAAAAAAAAGw/pknqtgwE-b4/s200/IMG_0471.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183617010165561138" border="0" /></a>long you are going to let it soak.<br /><br />Go ahead! Sit down! Relax! Have a beer! Call someone and have a nice long chat! Let that marinade do it's stuff.<br /><br /><br /><br />OK! Now it's time to do the cooking!<br /><br />Go ahead and cut up your veggies. Whatever you like. (I would also like to draw your eye to that beautiful pice of wood those onions are sitting on. That, my friends is a <a href="http://www.burgoonfurniturecompany.com/cutting_boards_and_oil/burgoon_cutting_boards/">Genuine Burgoon Cutting Board</a>. This will be the next Boos Board so get yours now! While they are still cheap! Seriously, click the link. Check out his stuff. Very nice.)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__Ku6XN0I/AAAAAAAAAG4/1uuNqay3ZHo/s1600-h/IMG_0476.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__Ku6XN0I/AAAAAAAAAG4/1uuNqay3ZHo/s200/IMG_0476.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183642255983327042" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__Yu6XN1I/AAAAAAAAAHA/LB03AZnI5CA/s1600-h/IMG_0474.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__Yu6XN1I/AAAAAAAAAHA/LB03AZnI5CA/s200/IMG_0474.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183642496501495634" border="0" /></a> I usually do Onion (4 or five small ones) and carrot (8 to 10 whole carrots but you could totally use bagged baby carrots) for my fresh veggies. I don't like potatoes in my stew. They get a little grainy for my taste. Now, my dad would say turnips should go in and I say NO. Turnips taste like POISON! But use whatever you like. All your hard veggies should go in with the meat.<br /><br />I make my Rue first. Go ahead! Make it in the pot you want your Stew in. I melt one stick of <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__mO6XN2I/AAAAAAAAAHI/knLpr4WprT0/s1600-h/IMG_0478.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__mO6XN2I/AAAAAAAAAHI/knLpr4WprT0/s200/IMG_0478.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183642728429729634" border="0" /></a>butter with a dash of Olive oil then throw in a bunch of flour. You'll know when, it'll look like runny paste. Give it <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__zu6XN3I/AAAAAAAAAHQ/Q5Y03GvFBDE/s1600-h/IMG_0480.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R-__zu6XN3I/AAAAAAAAAHQ/Q5Y03GvFBDE/s200/IMG_0480.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183642960357963634" border="0" /></a>a stir and let it cook up. Then scrape it out into a bowl. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just get most of it. Now, your pan is nice and hot, dump the whole Zip Lock bag of meat and marinade in the pot. Turn the flame to a nice low heat. Toss in the carrot strips and a whole can of Broth (the big can).<br /><br />Now, you can start to drool. Your house should be smelling wonderful by now! If you are so inclined you can add some fresh herbs at this point. It's totally up to you you can chop them or you can add them on the stem to be removed later. I think I'm going to add some thyme.<br /><br />And now, we wait. Again. This is a slow cooking meal. I like to make it on a Saturday or Sunday then we can eat left-overs all week! And it doesn't have to be stew every night. Make up some Egg Noodles and throw some of this on top, or over rice is good. You could even throw it in a pie crust and turn it into pot pie if you have a husband who thinks like mine. (He thinks if it's been in the fridge more than 2 days it's poison! He'd never have made it where I grew up!)<br /><br />Now it's almost done. Go ahead <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R_FjDO6XN4I/AAAAAAAAAHY/woTfSn5o1-k/s1600-h/2008_03300004.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R_FjDO6XN4I/AAAAAAAAAHY/woTfSn5o1-k/s200/2008_03300004.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184033553273796482" border="0" /></a>and mix in your Rue and stir it until you ar<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R_Fjje6XN5I/AAAAAAAAAHg/ZrdM2eta-UA/s1600-h/IMG_0484.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R_Fjje6XN5I/AAAAAAAAAHg/ZrdM2eta-UA/s200/IMG_0484.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184034107324577682" border="0" /></a>e sure that it's all dissolved. No biscuits here! I threw in a can of Green Beans, a package of peas and a package of corn. Give it another good stir, pop the lid on that bad boy and let it simmer for another 20 minutes.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now go ahead and call "Soups On!" and butter your rolls cuz you are ready to eat! Watch your mouth! This is hot right out of the pot. I burned the shit out of my mouth.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R_FkYe6XN6I/AAAAAAAAAHo/-2nPX3V6Hm0/s1600-h/IMG_0487.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/R_FkYe6XN6I/AAAAAAAAAHo/-2nPX3V6Hm0/s320/IMG_0487.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184035017857644450" border="0" /></a>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-22505433334346029842008-03-20T19:01:00.001-05:002008-03-20T19:03:34.338-05:00Go here. Buy one of these.The finest cutting board I have ever used.<br /><br />http://burgoonfurniture.com/cutting_boards_and_oil/burgoon_cutting_boards/Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-14851841482175408352007-12-17T21:27:00.000-05:002007-12-21T18:55:27.117-05:00The Attack of the Killer Beer Can!So after we moved din to the new house we decided to have a little get together and watch the UFC. I had enough stuff put away that it was reasonable to think we could have a little party without too much trouble. Man! I was Way wrong on that.<br /><br />I was puttering around, just piicking up the little bits, the decorations, the extra stuff I just don't know where it belongs yet and there is a closet behind the bar. "Hmmm," I think... "That'll be a good place for some of these bits and pieces" So I go and put some stuff in there and as I go to shut the door it sticks a little. No biggie. I give it a little jiggle and a shove, no problem! The door slides shut. Next thing I know my teeth are clacking together, my head figgin hurts and I'm looking at the floor. I do the 'Owey, oh holy fucking hell that smarts a bit' dance for a minute and when my eye stop watering I look to see what fell on my head. I can not express to you how much a Full Beer Can hurts when it hits you on the head very unexpectedly. I had a nice Crescent Shaped Lump, Of course it was off center just enough to do the most damage. I text'd The Capt and tell him his Step Father might be trying to kill me with beer cans and one just hit me on the head For No Reason! His response? It's magic! He actually said "Good". I may have cussed at him a little. So, anyway, the weekend after I throw myself down an embankment (my FIL's leaf blower) a ber can (from my FIL's collection) magically tries to kill me. I think I see a pattern. Could this be voodoo? (power of voodoo, Who do? you do, Do what? remind me of the baby!)<br /><br />So now you are all caught up. I moved, then hurt myself. A lot. I am good at it. Anyway! I'm off to LA for Christmas. Have fun and look for crazy pics!Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-17494942275889099942007-12-17T21:11:00.000-05:002007-12-17T21:27:48.707-05:00YAY! Post number 100!<span style="font-family: verdana;">Now for the apologies! I am a big jerk. I know! I have brought you no Funny, and hardly any good stories. I spent all (Most? Some?) of November packing and being generally unsuitable for conversation due to said packing. Plus I had Thanksgiving with the Crazy almost Irish mob side of His family. Yes, I made sure to put HIS because I have enough crazy, he can keep his. We, and when I say we, I mean I and a random assortment of his friends moved my entire house on Black Friday. It Rocked heartily. (LIES!!! ALL LIES! MOVING BLOWS!) but at least we have friends who will help us move. That is kinda cool. So anyway, I spent the rest of the weekend cleaning, painting and picking up general clutter and bits that are always left behind. naturally, that is the weekend we got the first and second big frost so all the leaves fell out of all 6 trees simultaneously. THAT, my friends, Is awesome! Especially since The Capt threw my rake away. (No, I will not go buy another rake. He must go and get me a new rake. It's his fault I don't have one.) {Shut up. I know I'll end up buying my own fucking rake. Let me have my fantasy bitches!} Wait, where was I?? OH! So I was using my FIL's cheap ass, weak as shit leaf blower and fell down a hill. And I don't mean like "Oops! Haha, I fell down" I mean like 'Movie Fall'. I trip in Slow motion.... windmilling my arms so this cheap ass leaf blower goes flying over my head as I smash into stumps, roots, rocks and shit. Of course my back pockets are full of things. Pokey Thing. A Utility Knife, 2 paint can openers, my cell phone.... you know. Shit. So, it's Sunday after I've just spent the entire weekend moving, painting, cleaning, I am physically and mentally wiped out and now I just threw myself down a fucking embankment and hurt myself. What do I do? Well, the only logical thing. I pull the leaf blower over, and sob hysterically. I was sore, tired, angry, and now I was bruised on top of everything so I just broke down. I eventually finished the leaves between sniffles. And when I stopped at the bank to deposit a check on my way to my new home I think I was still crying a little and the girl behind the glass might have been a little afraid of me, but thats ok. I lived, and the pretty bruises on my heiny did go away. Just wait for tomorrow. I'll tell you all about the attack of the really old beer can. It also is tremendous fun!<br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-81642424942664240532007-10-26T19:35:00.000-05:002007-10-26T20:01:22.968-05:00Mrs. Crazy?? Could you come with me please?<span style="font-family: verdana;">So, did you know I hate my health insurance? Cuz I do. It rocks. In order for me to go to the chiropractor (oh! Sweet love!) I need a referral. Ok. NO problem right? WRONG! Let me lay out a time line for you! It'll be fun! Tra-la-la!<br /><br />2:35 I get to the office! All good! My appointment is for 2:45! I signed more paperwork than the last time I bought a car! As an added bonus, I have no medical records! The last Doctors office I went to is only mandated to keep the patient record for 7 years and since it had been 10 since my last visit, they were GONE! YAY!<br /><br />2:45 Waiting...... Notice a pregnant girl sitting across from me. She appears to be younger than me...... find out she has 4 KIDS! FOUR!!!!! And another Bun in the Oven. And she COUGHS. A. LOT. <span style="font-style: italic;">ON. ME.</span> You are familiar with the bronchitis cough, yes? The deep lung horking cough? <br /> Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh...... Thats the one.....<br /><br />3:00 Waiting......<br /><br />3:15 Waiting.... Notice the Crazy woman to the right of me. She had brought to the Doctors office with her <span style="font-weight: bold;">1. </span> Full, with books, Jansport PINK backpack. <span style="font-weight: bold;">2.</span> Full Aldi's bag. I don't know what it had in it but it wasn't groceries. <span style="font-weight: bold;">3.</span> Full size purse. Filled with shit. So full she couldn't do up the zippers. <br /><br />And she was dressed crazy too! She was wearing Capri pants, with jeans over top. How do I know what she was wearing under the Jeans?? There were fresh holes torn in the jeans so the Capri's poked through. Coincidence?? I THINK NOT!! Not to mention I think she had friggin' PNEUMONIA and she did not cover her mouth. And she touched every magazine. Twice. I swear to Sweet Baby Jeebus I could feel her germs and phlegm sticking to my eyeballs at one point. It was awful.<br /></span><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />3:30 STILL WAITING while I catch Leprosy...<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: verdana;">FINALLY! I get called back. The nurse takes my info and I say to her<br /><br />Me: I am just here to get a referral so I can go see a Chiropractor<br /><br />Nursey: Well, you probably won't get that.... They'll want you to see an Orthopod first....<br /><br />Me: Actually, I don't want to see an Orthopod and since I'm paying, I'll just take my referral.<br /><br />Nurrsy: No, <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You don't see,</span> the insurance companies do it this way...<br /><br />Me: Either you people will give me a referral or I will go someplace else and get it. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Someone *Will* write me a referral</span>.....<br /><br />Nursy: Ok then, I'll send in the Doctor.<br /><br />Needless to say, I got my referral and I have my appointment set up for Tuesday.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fuckers.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-30864715640172256922007-10-16T18:49:00.000-05:002007-10-16T19:03:35.397-05:00Overheard in Ardmore....<span style="font-family: verdana;">**Picture this: a young woman pulls up in a beat up Cavalier with two older Gents. One Older gent is obviously handicapped. The other Old Gent seems lucid, and coherent. The Young Woman obviously frustrated and overwhelmed.**<br /><br />Young Woman: Give me your jacket. (to Old gent #1)<br /><br />Old Gent #1: <span style="font-style: italic;"> Why?</span> Why can't I have my jacket?<br /><br />Old Gent #2: *shuffle shuffle* (puts hands in pockets)<br /><br />Young Woman: You don't <span style="font-style: italic;">Need It.</span><br /><br />Old Gent #1: <span style="font-style: italic;">Why don't I Need It?? It's my jacket.</span><br /> (at this point they are pulling on the jacket, first he pulls, then she pulls, repeat.)<br /><br />Young Woman: <span style="font-weight: bold;">You're angry. </span><br /><br />Old gent #2: *Shuffle Shuffle* (Takes hands out of pockets, looks at arguers uncomfortably)<br /><br />Old Gent #1: <span style="font-style: italic;">Yes I am. I want my jacket.</span><br /><br />Young Woman: <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> STOP BEING ANGRY. ANGRY MEANS NURSING HOME.</span> *throws jacket at him.*<br /><br />Me: Ummmm... *jaw slack staring at them because OMG?? Did she just threaten him with a nursing home over a jacket??*<br /><br />Young Woman: *head snaps around to see if anyone saw her threaten Old Gent #1. She spies me staring and stomps off into Applebee's with both old Gents shuffling along behind.*<br /><br />Just so you know, Old Gent #1 got to keep his jacket.<br /><br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-15859181497175893452007-10-03T19:41:00.000-05:002007-10-03T20:01:55.416-05:00Do you Merge? Or, Road Rage: 101<span style="font-family: verdana;">Answer me a few leeeeetol questions about Proper Driving Etiquette would you Por Favor? Si? Si. When there is a sign stating <br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana; font-weight: bold;">LEFT LANE CLOSED</span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana; font-weight: bold;">PLEASE MERGE RIGHT</span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />Do you do so? And at your earliest convenience? Or are you a racer? Must you be at the front of the line fucking up traffic for the rest of us? Yes, yes. There is a story here. Allow me to illiterate.....<br /><br />I've just merged onto RT 309 (kindly, and with proper etiquette I might add) and there is a large orange sign that states<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">LEFT LANE CLOSED</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> PLEASE MERGE RIGHT</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />I do so in a timely manner. With Turn Signals. Yes, the right lane is a wee bit slower, but if everyone moves over in a timely manner we will fly through the miles and miles of one-lane-iness. Unfortunately that is spoiled by the inhuman mutherfuckers who MUST. BE. FIRST! Because Lord knows they are Important! VIP's! <br /><br />Anyway..... I rant! So this woman in a Big Ass SUV starts merging into my car. OH HELLZ NAW BITCH!<br /><br />Me: WHAT THE FUCK!!!<br /><br />SUV Lady: WHY YOU BEIN' SO RUDE??<br /> (she was white and I don't know how to type a Brooklyn accent)<br /><br />Me: YOU SHOULD HAVE MERGED BACK WHEN THE SIGN TOLD YOU TO. <span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">*stupid bitch isn't getting in now. Fuck all that noise* </span></span><br /><br />SUV Lady: BECAUSE EVERY ONE IS BEING A RUDE BITCH LIKE YOU AND WOULDN'T LET ME IN!<br /><br />*I would like to point out she was NOT using her turn signal. <br /><br />Me: I'M A RUDE BITCH? YOU'RE NOT USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />So, no. I did not let her in. I made that bitch brake. I feel I am in the right <span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >(if slightly road ragey and vindictive. I could have let her in.)</span> One of the Rules of the Road I learned was when you wanted to move your vehicle into another lane you use your turn signal to indicate you would be doing so, or use your signal to <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">ASK</span> to move into the lane. <br /><br />Let me give you a little analogy. It's like in High School when the bigger kids would cut the lunch line. You either push your way in or you ask your friend to cut. If you ask me I will let you cut, but if you try and shove your way in I will make you hit my car. So you tell me. Am I completely wrong? I know I react poorly, but the concept, it's right isn't it? You should ASK to cut the line.....<br /><br />P.S. I totally know I have a problem about the turn signals but they are there for a reason! USE THEM.<br /><br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-90911980912705602972007-09-25T16:28:00.000-05:002007-09-25T17:04:49.457-05:00None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear.Ferdinand Foch- French General 1851-1929<br /><br />I've admitted before I am a country girl. I love living close to the city and everything that goes with it. But I am not always comfortable with it. I don't always know how to react or even act. I spend a large amount of my working time in areas of Philly that a majority of the population is Black. Or is the Proper Term African American? I don't know. I am not racist, nor am I afraid of Black people. I am however afraid of the City People. White, Black, Hispanic whatever they may be, in Philly they might shoot you. For looking at them. For being at the wrong place at the wrong time. On accident. For being white. We have crested the 300 mark on murders this year already. <br /><br />And today I wanted to go to the park for lunch.<br /><br />The Awbury Arboretum is on the corner of Chew Ave and Washington Ln. It's not the nicest neighborhood, but so what! It's Daytime! In a PARK! Nothing can happen right? Wrong. I got a reality check today and it scared me. I walked a small circuit of the park taking pics of flowers and general crap and decided to sit next to a mud hole they called a pond and see if I could get some good pics of the Bullfrogs. As I was waiting for the frogs to acclimate to my presence and come back 3 Black men came up the short stairway to the park. (Hereafter known as The Young One, The Old One and The Homeless one.) Which, really? No Big Deal. Except then The Young One turned around and sat down blocking the steps out of the park. And the Old One and the Homeless one stumbled over to the edge of the pond and tried to set their 40's down without breaking them. <br /><br />Still! None of this is a big deal right? Right. Except I had a bad feeling. At which point I have to ask myself, Am I just being prudent? Would I react the same way if it was 3 White guys? What if they weren't obviously drunk? Would that make me more comfortable or less? They aren't talking to me, they aren't even looking at me, except I know this to be a 'Bad Area". <br /><br /><br />The Old One wanders over behind a tree to relieve himself (polite at least), and I pack up my camera. The Homeless One seems to be staring at me, but that could just be me thinking that, or him just being drunk. The Old one still hadn't come out from behind the tree and it had been about 10 minutes. I decided he might be doing drugs and I don't care, I'm leaving the park. Now. I start walking around the little pond and this guy is taking a nod, dick still in hand, while leaning against the tree. I try not to look at him, or the Homeless one as I pass by. My senses are hyper alert and I excuse myself down the stairs without incident. The Young One goes back on up the steps and completes his deal, (Whatever it was, I saw him after I got back in my car and I was pulling away, he had a black bag of <span style="font-style: italic;">something</span>. Could have been a 40, could have been drugs, could have been a gun. OR, it could have been nothing. A book. A new shirt. I don't know.) <br /><br />I don't like these feelings that today has left me with. I am afraid. I am disgusted with myself for being afraid of people. Afraid of Black People. Not all Black people Hate Whitey, or want to shoot people, or do drugs. Some of them are just trying to make it through the day. Just like me. And just like some of you. I don't want to think it makes me racist to be afraid, and yet I am afraid being afraid makes me racist. Or bigoted. Or a bad person. <br /><br />When it comes down to the bare bones I am not a city girl. I think it's different if you are born in a city. There is something bred into you very DNA that makes you adept at knowing whats trouble, and whats ok, and when to leave the park. It's not going to keep me from doing my job and I will not be controlled by my fear. But I will not go back to that park. And I will be afraid when I drive through that area. If I am listening to rap, I will turn it down so they can't hear and think me a poser. Or I may even change the station all together. <br /><br />Fear leaves a sour taste in my mouth.Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-52071354408616422292007-09-22T11:51:00.000-05:002007-09-22T15:41:17.196-05:00Did someone say Cake?<span style="font-family:verdana;">Well, inspired by<a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com"> RSM's</a> post yesterday about Butter I decided to give you a Desert recipe that is Butter-licious! It's sort of like a cobbler, but not really, super easy and so good and rich... It's kin</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">d of like Cake, and kind of like Pie. Cie? Pake? I don't know what to call it! Except TASTY!<br /><br />*DROOL!*<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So here it is.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Cast of Characters.</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVRSoGNTfI/AAAAAAAAAE4/hfC-iSTTELA/s1600-h/2007_09210004.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVRSoGNTfI/AAAAAAAAAE4/hfC-iSTTELA/s320/2007_09210004.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113082332392017394" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">1 can of Crushed Pineapple. Drained.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">1 can of Cherry Pie Filling.<br />1 Yellow Cake mix</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">1 Stick Butter<br /><br />Thats it. No other ingredients required.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br />Now, Into a 9 inch cake pan (whatever shape you like) dump the drained</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVS-4GNTgI/AAAAAAAAAFA/RPWzAXIEFCQ/s1600-h/2007_09210006.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVS-4GNTgI/AAAAAAAAAFA/RPWzAXIEFCQ/s200/2007_09210006.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113084192112856578" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Pineapple. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br />(Yes, I know that is a pie dish. I used that for <span style="font-style: italic;">Your Benefit</span>. Shuddup.)<br /></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br />Next, dump the cherry pie filling on top of the</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> pineapple. Stir together.<br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVT7oGNTiI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/Rqe_prLnbko/s1600-h/2007_09210009.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVT7oGNTiI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/Rqe_prLnbko/s200/2007_09210009.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113085235789909538" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br />Pour the dry cake</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> mix on top of the Cherries and Pineapple. </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVVRoGNTjI/AAAAAAAAAFY/trRLAlZMR4U/s1600-h/2007_09210011.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVVRoGNTjI/AAAAAAAAAFY/trRLAlZMR4U/s200/2007_09210011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113086713258659378" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Dot with Butter. YES. Use the whole stick.</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVchoGNTkI/AAAAAAAAAFg/0S-__f4lFwI/s1600-h/2007_09210012.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVchoGNTkI/AAAAAAAAAFg/0S-__f4lFwI/s200/2007_09210012.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113094684717960770" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br />Bake at 350 until golden brown. My apologies. I did not time mine,</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVd6oGNTlI/AAAAAAAAAFo/7qmRfPTSNq8/s1600-h/2007_09210014.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVd6oGNTlI/AAAAAAAAAFo/7qmRfPTSNq8/s200/2007_09210014.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113096213726318162" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"> 20 minutes? A half hour? Ish... Take out of oven. Cool </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">until it will not sear your</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> mouth.<br /><br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br /><br />Scoop out a hefty serving. (You will come back for more. Maybe you should make 2.) Devour.<br /><br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVey4GNTmI/AAAAAAAAAFw/Scr0tjnmklw/s1600-h/2007_09220001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RvVey4GNTmI/AAAAAAAAAFw/Scr0tjnmklw/s400/2007_09220001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113097180093959778" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-24733667958547605092007-09-11T21:15:00.000-05:002007-09-11T21:33:01.159-05:00The one in which I panic......<span style="font-family: verdana;">So, it looks as if The Capt will be fighting for <a href="http://www.battlecagextreme.com/index.html">THIS GROUP</a> Oct. 20th in Joisey. With elbows to the head. To. The. Head.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21072575@N00/508407204/">HEAD. </a><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:MMA_working_the_guard.jpg">ELBOWS.</a><br /><br />In his precious little face. It hurts me thinking about it! Punches suck, but elbows are like depositing you eyeballs directly into a frying pan and just swirling them around with a fork whilst they are still attached to you head. Fun and stuff.<br /><br />More on this later............<br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-76102615639542781922007-09-08T17:43:00.000-05:002007-09-08T18:24:44.331-05:00This is Almost IT.<span style="font-family:verdana;">I'm not even kidding. I almost have The Perfect Burger. ALMOST. It's killing me. I have the burger part down.<br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RuMs0iaAzzI/AAAAAAAAAEg/NIK8xziEMSk/s1600-h/2007_09080044.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RuMs0iaAzzI/AAAAAAAAAEg/NIK8xziEMSk/s320/2007_09080044.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107975683469004594" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">80 - 20 Hamburger<br />Finely Chopped Onion<br />Garlic Powder<br />Old Bay</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Seasoning<br />Season Salt<br />Cheese<br />and <span style="font-style: italic;">Pineapple</span>.<br /><br />No. I am not</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> kidding. I make burgers with pineapple in the middle. And they are delicious. You make one</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> patty nice and thin and stick a pineapple ring, or pineapple bits with sharp cheese in the middle then throw a</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">nother patty on top. It is Teh Delicious-ness. Trust me. Make them. But don't use regular hamburger buns, they don't have the power to withstand the juicy-goodness that is a pineapple burger. Use a hard roll. A Portuguese Roll, or Toasted French bread. Something dense.<br /><br />Then I have a wonderful condiment. It is also the delicious-ness. But not quite right for the burger. It's almost <span style="font-style: italic;">it,</span> but not quite.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">1/2 of a 16 oz package of Bacon. Whatever kind you like.<br /> Fry that shit up. Save the grease.</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RuMuHSaAz0I/AAAAAAAAAEo/GkQy12QDvIM/s1600-h/2007_09080036.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RuMuHSaAz0I/AAAAAAAAAEo/GkQy12QDvIM/s200/2007_09080036.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107977105103179586" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <span style="font-style: italic;">-DO NOT BURN YOURSELF. USE A LONG HANDLED FORK DUMMY.</span><br /> -Shaddup Asshole. I burned myself.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">1 puff bag of pre-made Coleslaw. (Yes, I cheat.)<br />1 1/2 onion. I used a <a href="http://www.greatknives.com/Mouli%20products/food_mills.htm">Mouli</a> to slice mine. Make it thin and long cut like coleslaw.<br />And I stoled the dressing from this<a href="http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Doras-Dandelions/Detail.aspx"> recipe</a>. OOOOO! TO DIE FOR.<br /><br /> But just this part: </span><span><br /> In a small bowl, whisk together the egg, vinegar, and sugar. Season with salt and pepper. Stir the egg mixture into the skillet with the warm bacon grease. Mix in the diced bacon and flour, and whisk for about 1 minute, until thickened to the consistency of salad dressing.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;">Then, while it was hot, I poured it on the Coleslaw mixture I made and tossed it. As Homer would say<br /><br />"GAHHHHHHHHHHH DROOL*<br /><br />I made the dressing first and mixed it and the coleslaw stuff </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">all up. I let it marinate in the fridge for a couple hours.<br /><br />When I was ready for dinner I made up my burgers and cooked them on my George Foreman Grill. If you are cooking them on an actual grill you need to know, set the heat low to medium. You only get one flip with a pineapple burger before they start to break apart. I assembled my burger and it was really good. I really enjoyed the vinnegrett flavor against the slightly sweet, slightly greasey flavor of the burger. Unfortunately the burger flavor manages to over take the coleslaw flavor by the end of the burger. In my opinion. Y</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RuMuhyaAz1I/AAAAAAAAAEw/6zwa7B0Ldg8/s1600-h/2007_09080045.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RuMuhyaAz1I/AAAAAAAAAEw/6zwa7B0Ldg8/s200/2007_09080045.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107977560369712978" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;">ou make them and tell me if I'm crazy. Please? I was also thinking a little celery seed in the coleslaw stuff, or maybe sunflower seeds, but that's not w</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">hat it's missing.<br /><br />You make 'em.<br /><br />Tell me what you think.<br /><br />Please?<br /> <br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-12024504195074869532007-08-19T14:18:00.000-05:002007-08-19T21:54:07.766-05:00Hi, I'm a Harvard Grad and Nicole is from FloridaJust a few highlights from The Pat Benatar Concert I went to <a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">with</a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/"> </a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">RSM</a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">.</a> Oddly enough, none of <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiKBSaAzsI/AAAAAAAAADo/pVd5Fn33zx8/s1600-h/k%27s+boyfriend.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiKBSaAzsI/AAAAAAAAADo/pVd5Fn33zx8/s200/k%27s+boyfriend.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100478332722532034" border="0" /></a>them happened at the concert itself. Huh, Weird. This Little guy we met at <a href="http://www.bluecometbarandgrill.com/">The Blue Comet</a> in Glenside. We had a lovely talk with him at the Comet though. I told him <a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">about </a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">RSM's blog</a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/"> </a>and how famous she is and he should feel SO LUCKY to actually be in her presence (cuz I am nice like that). She introduced herself as Nicole and then told him I am a Harvard Graduate. Payback? Maybe... He then was properly amazed and said things like "You two are so humble" and "No wonder she is just sitting back not saying much". Then it was<span style="font-style: italic;"> Story Time</span>. He had been out all night with a buddy celebrating a 21st birthday. And did we know is was a foster kid? And his mom was a totally druggie? And his dad TOO. WOW. Fascinating stuff. It was at this point we decided to RUN. Run for our lives.<br /><br />So then we went back to the Keswick for a few more Drinky-poo's. As we we're bei<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiH5yaAzrI/AAAAAAAAADg/B4eXEZoprPA/s1600-h/2007_08170096.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiH5yaAzrI/AAAAAAAAADg/B4eXEZoprPA/s200/2007_08170096.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100476004850257586" border="0" /></a>ng carded at the door and RSM was yelling at the bouncer that 'You are so MEAN! Just let us IN ALREADY!" we met this diamond in the rough! And she <a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">LOVED </a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">RSM.</a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/"> </a>She basically attacked her at the door. It was awesome.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiHaSaAzqI/AAAAAAAAADY/cLlYrgr88NE/s1600-h/2007_08170085.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiHaSaAzqI/AAAAAAAAADY/cLlYrgr88NE/s200/2007_08170085.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100475463684378274" border="0" /></a>The best description I have heard so far is <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21072575@N00/1152851652/">'Elaine from Seinfeld's Daughter'</a>. Let me just tell ya, she inherited all the mad dancing skills from her mom. She was freaky <a href="http://carrisablog.com/carrisa/">Jealouscakes</a> about<a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/"> RSM</a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/"> being on stage </a>so decided to throw herself on stage and be <a href="http://www.jumperweb.com/">'The Bands'</a> Dancer! She was rockin the house and all that.<br /><br />This however may have been the highlight of the evening. The <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiPziaAzuI/AAAAAAAAAD4/jgL7awPICRg/s1600-h/2007_08170087.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiPziaAzuI/AAAAAAAAAD4/jgL7awPICRg/s200/2007_08170087.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100484693569097442" border="0" /></a>SECOND Concert of the night. There was a Little Clash, Some Bowie, Journey (of course!) a little Maroon 5. I was really busy laughing, singing, taking pictures and drinking. And you'll NEVER GUESS who showed up? No go ahead. Try. You'll<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiQLiaAzvI/AAAAAAAAAEA/mvjACsbc7-A/s1600-h/2007_08170113.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiQLiaAzvI/AAAAAAAAAEA/mvjACsbc7-A/s200/2007_08170113.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100485105885957874" border="0" /></a> never guess! Yep! You guessed it! Our little friend Scott! <a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">After </a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">RSM </a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">got down </a>from the stage Scott decided he'd like to sing too! The guys in <a href="http://www.jumperweb.com/">The Band </a>didn't like it very much. it's one thing to have a Hot Chick up on stage (after being invited of course) and an entirely different thing to have some snaggle toothed crazy person decide he wants to sing and run up and 'Share' the mic with you. I think I might have heard a "Oh HELLS NAW!" He was pulled off the stage and escorted out while being told 'No one goes on stage', except for Hot Chicks in Little skirts I guess..... I guess the last interesting bit that happened was on our way to the Potty. <a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">RSM </a><a href="http://www.rockstarmommy.com/">had quite the fan club</a> by the end of the night ya know. So we're just minding our own bid-ness and this guy stops us. It was very 'How You Doin'?' We went through all the regular conversation topics...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Guido:</span> How You Doin' ladies? What's your name?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">RSM:</span> Nicole.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> (Real name inserted here) (Cuz I'm hard core like that)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Guido:</span> So... Where you from?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">RSM:</span> Florida.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> Here. (while giving crazy look at RSM)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Guido: </span>Well, next Friday I'm having a party at my<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiTWSaAzxI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/A85IxiGhm5U/s1600-h/2007_08170128.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiTWSaAzxI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/A85IxiGhm5U/s200/2007_08170128.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100488589104434962" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiSyiaAzwI/AAAAAAAAAEI/4hu-n1Q5qPk/s1600-h/2007_08170127.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiSyiaAzwI/AAAAAAAAAEI/4hu-n1Q5qPk/s200/2007_08170127.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100487974924111618" border="0" /></a> house if yous would like to come.... Hey you wanna take a picture of me too?<br /><br />nah, get a better one....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">RSM:</span> Oh, I'll be gone by then..<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> Can we go to the bathroom now?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />We ended the night looking at about 47 people's tattooe's and then This Travesty. It was eventful and entertaining. And kinda scary. Lets do it again ok?<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiUNCaAzyI/AAAAAAAAAEY/EfjWd1xB8Qg/s1600-h/2007_08170149.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RsiUNCaAzyI/AAAAAAAAAEY/EfjWd1xB8Qg/s400/2007_08170149.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5100489529702272802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Yeah............. we're totally going out again.Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-83890869657940510792007-08-14T07:11:00.000-05:002007-08-14T07:20:20.253-05:00This is the end......Well kids, this mornings shower might have been my last hot one. Or shower period..... You see the Hot Water Tank has been leaking. I knew this. My <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">FIL</span> didn't believe me. Pretty common. He came over and looked at it and announced<br /><br />"HA! I have discovered the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">dysfunction</span>! The Hot Water Tank is leaking!"<br /><br />in his most triumphant voice. I figured because it was playing with explosives (Natural Gas) I wouldn't have to worry about it. He'd hire someone who knows what they are doing. Right? RIGHT??!??!<br /><br />WRONG.<br /><br />He called The Capt. Sunday and told him to meet him at the Home Depot to pick up the New Hot Water Tank. No big deal. They go and pick this up, drag it up one set of stairs and down another and as it comes back to upright The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">FIL</span> says<br /><br />"So I'll be over Tuesday morning to put this in. That way I have all day if something goes wrong."<br /><br />Oh Hell's nah....<br /><br />So pray for me Children. <br /><br />I may not have Hot Water when I get home.<br /><br />I may not have Water when I get home...<br /><br />And if he fucks up with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">natural</span> Gas....<br /><br />I may not have a home....Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-29148146360270550122007-07-17T19:21:00.000-05:002007-07-17T20:11:38.976-05:00Feeeeeeeeeeeeed me SEYMORE!!!!!!!!<span style="font-family: verdana;">I might be a little snipish with this post.<br /><br />Or maybe a little snipish all together.<br /><br />I dunno.<br /><br />See, here's the problem. I quit smoking. I KNOW RIGHT?!??!?!?!??!!!<br /><br />I got sick at the beginning of the month and it hurt to smoke. So I didn't. It wasn't hard, I was asleep for the first 3 days or so. That makes it really easy. FOR THOSE DAYS. Lemme just break it down for you a little.<br /><br />July 1st: (Sunday) Wake up sick. So sick I can speak because it huuuuuurts.<br /><br />July 2nd: Go to work. Run fever. Feel dizzy. Achy and headachey. Push through day, get done at 2:30, go home and sleep.<br /><br />July 3rd: Go to work. Turn in paperwork and beg off for the day. Head hurts from no NICOTINE! NEED MORE SLEEP. Sleep all day.<br /><br />July 4th: Go to a 4th party. Leave early because I am still sick. Even bigger headache. Really really really want to smoke by the end of the day.....<br /><br />July 5th: Back to work. Coughing. Sniffling. Sneezing. The desire to smoke doesn't hit till the end of the day.<br /><br />July 6th: Get REAL BITCHY BECAUSE NO NICOTINE!!!! MUTHERFUCKER WHY DO YOU SPEAK TO ME?? YOU DARE ASK ME WHY THERE IS SMOKE COMING OUT MY EARS AND FIRE SHOOTING FROM MY NOSTRILS?? I SHALL KILL YOU FOR SUCH SILLY QUESTIONS!! NO TALKY TO ME!!!!! EVAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!<br /><br />July 10th - July 17th: On and off I have been snipish, bitchy, and generally not a very nice person. <br /><br />Most of the time I am ok with the desire to smoke. Towards the end of the day it gets bad but I have found the remedy. <br /><br />FEED MAH FAT ASS!! <br /><br />I can not stop eating. Foooooooooooooooood! Especially anything that is not good for me. <br /><br />Is it deep fried, fat laden, something I shouldn't eat? <br /><br />GIVE ME! PUT IN MAH MOUTH!!<br /><br />I have gained 3 pounds in 17 days. This is not ok with me. I need to find a NEW! BETTER! HOBBY! Because, eating?? Is just not going to cut it for me.<br /><br />Pray for me....... and if you see me light one up? Punch me in the mouth.<br /><br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-16654070392435084272007-06-28T16:22:00.000-05:002007-06-28T16:59:17.206-05:00Ayyyyyyyy YO LAAA-DEEE!<span style="font-family: verdana;">Yet another scorcher in the big city today. I'm pretty sure after the last three days of un-fucking-believable heat and humidity there is no more water left in my body. My Gawd! Could someone turn the heat down already?? So anyway, I was on Germantown Ave today in the Not So Nice part of town. It was fun. OH! TONS of fun. I was on Rector Street waiting for my parking space to open up in front of the building because HOLY FUCK NOT. LEAVING. CAR. OUT. OF. SIGHT. People might steal Mah Shit. And DOOOOODE! I carry a LOT of shit! So I'm waiting, and reading a book. What? I got all day to fuck off people! And all the sudden....<br /><br /><br />Lil'Black boy: AAAYYYYYY YO!! AAAAAAAYYYYYYEEEEEE YOOOO!!! LAAAA-DEE! LAAAA-DEE!!<br /><br />Me: (scramble to turn down radio) What's that o'young and black??<br /><br />Lil'Black boy: (pulls up pants, grabs crotch, adjust) You wanna dye my hair that color??<br /><br />Me: HAHAHA (Casually roll up window and avert eyes.)<br /><br />It was the predecessor of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Things To Come</span>.<br /><br />So around noon I used my Nuvi to find the Micky-D's on Broad St. I was just chillin' in the parking lot reading my book and havin' a smoke. I got to see a few interesting things and have a <span style="font-style: italic;">LOVELY</span> conversation. While I was there a slightly strung out looking white woman about 35yr but looking much older(read: dishevaled hair, ill fitting clothes, wild look in her eye) pulled up in a crappy Cavalier, then a young black guy pulled up in a beat ass Bonneville. She got out of her car, into his, back out of his car, into her shit box and drove away. Hmmm. Musta been a nice lil'drug deal. Sweet. I don't mind a little pot but this woman looked B.A.D. Crack or meth is my guess. I just shrugged it off, whatevs. Not my life. So I'm still reading my book, sweating and trying to stay out of the sun and another Bonneville pulls up with three young black gents in it. Two of whom exit the vehicle and go talk to people in another car. Muslims I think, the girl was wearing the full dress and face cover. I was just sitting there biting a fingernail and young black driver rolls down the rear passenger window....<br /><br />YBD: Ayyyyy ba-beeee! Whas wrong? You lost? You go to schoooo down here?<br /><br />Me: Oh, nothings wrong.<br /><br />YBD: So.... you go to schoo down here?<br /><br />Me: No.<br /><br />YBD: Whats yo name baby?<br /><br />Me: You wont be able to say it.<br /><br />YBD: Naaaahhhh, its aiiight. I got a <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">slick</span> toungue. <br /><br />Me: Oh..... uhhh... (insert name here)<br /><br />YBD: AH, aint nuthin hard about that! So can I take you out sometime baby?<br /><br />Me: Oh, honi I'm married.<br /><br />YBD: Thas aiight, I got a mini van. He can come too.....<br /><br />Me: ........................ (throw car in reverse, get THE FUCK OUT OF THERE)<br /><br />Yeah, I think my boss gave me all the area's he's afraid to go in....<br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-33496212946210692992007-06-14T20:22:00.001-05:002007-06-14T20:24:00.243-05:00Good Lord this Makes me cry!Go watch this video! It reminds me of the Ugly Duckling. I nearly cried!<br /><br />http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=646496&cache=1Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-61180062894489918142007-06-14T17:12:00.000-05:002007-06-14T18:01:42.788-05:00Commence the Chaos.<span style="font-family:verdana;">So, I have been recovering, <span style="font-style: italic;">*albeit slowly*</span>, from this past weekend. It was great fun. We arrived Thursday afternoon after a SIX HOUR DRIVE <span style="font-style: italic;">*fucking Pennsylvania and it's mother fuckin' construction*.</span> As soon as we stepped in the door dad cracked us both a brew and we sat down to chill for a bit. It was nice being home and just RELAXING before all the wedding Brew-ha-ha. After a hour or two I rolled on over to the G-parents house and chilled with Ye Old Man,</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHA-iBxkwI/AAAAAAAAACY/LjfWqZoFJ-8/s1600-h/2007_06090001.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHA-iBxkwI/AAAAAAAAACY/LjfWqZoFJ-8/s200/2007_06090001.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076050435541930754" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"> and the Beautiful Young Woman he married, Gram. My fathers brother, 'Du</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">nk'</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> and his Beauteous Wife 'Le Nursey' were there and chilled with us too (sorry lady, I got no good shots of you). We ha</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">ven't seen them for OOooooo, I guess 2 ye</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">ars now? Because we're too friggin "busy" (read: lazy) to drive to Ye Old 'Ginia to </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">visit. Friday everyone started rollin' in for the big Sha-bang. Sister 1 and hubs-to-be were first. The looked happy (and </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">a wee bit sweaty and tired, <span style="font-style: italic;">shhhh I never said that</span>) and brought a Ass-Ton</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> of boxes, dry cleaner bags and clutter with th</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHBzSBxkxI/AAAAAAAAACg/7atcWsdPLwU/s1600-h/2007_06090107.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHBzSBxkxI/AAAAAAAAACg/7atcWsdPLwU/s200/2007_06090107.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076051341780030226" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;">em. Then Sister 2 showed bearing 1 boy-toy and a freshly birthed babe of 2 weeks.<br />(w</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">hich Da Momma swiftly and with great grace swooped away with). And now I say unto the Heavens<br /><br />"COMMENCE THE CHAOS!"<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Friday night The Capt.,I, Dunk and Le Nursey went for a small tour of the local nightlife. A really small pub crawl. We started off at Andersons, had a few beers and looked at the scary folk with 'Summer Teeth' and the Babies that I baby-sat elleventy million years ago,and saying things like 'OH HELL NO THEY CAN NOT BE OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK!??!?!!!' Next we moseid on 'Down Below', (That's the fightin' bar). When we walked in we saw this guy signing a song of which I only caught the last couple o</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">f lines. It was a nice little didy and <span style="font-style: italic;">it goes a lil's</span></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-style: italic;">umthin like theeeeeaaaaaaasssss!</span><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHEpiBxkyI/AAAAAAAAACo/cLUFjzAjTEs/s1600-h/2007_06090010.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHEpiBxkyI/AAAAAAAAACo/cLUFjzAjTEs/s200/2007_06090010.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076054472811189026" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:130%;" >HIT IT!</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >"There ain't nuthin worse than a white girl with a nigger..... </span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >explative explative racist comment</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >Oh NO SIR</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >There ain't nuthin wo</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >oooooorse....... than a white girl with a nigger......"</span><br /></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br />Um, yeah. It's a small town. Just make up your own excuse for these schmucks. I got nuthin'.<br /><br /><br />Just so you can properly understand <span style="font-style: italic;">My Town</span> here's </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">a few more example of the fine, law abiding, clean cut, hygenic peeps there. Yeah, You're So Very Welcome! (You should understand the TOOTH brush might have been invented there. That's why it's not used in the proper plural form. We Got Us'ins a TOOTH! YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKIN HAWWWWW BITCHES!!)<br /><br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHF2SBxk0I/AAAAAAAAAC4/J2eDZudLLTQ/s1600-h/2007_06090019.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHF2SBxk0I/AAAAAAAAAC4/J2eDZudLLTQ/s200/2007_06090019.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076055791366148930" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHGTyBxk1I/AAAAAAAAADA/-p5riDL2u3E/s1600-h/2007_06090018.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHGTyBxk1I/AAAAAAAAADA/-p5riDL2u3E/s200/2007_06090018.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076056298172289874" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHHhSBxk2I/AAAAAAAAADI/l7_5XK21psI/s1600-h/2007_06090022.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RnHHhSBxk2I/AAAAAAAAADI/l7_5XK21psI/s200/2007_06090022.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076057629612151650" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;">For now, this is all. I will have a follow up tale of One True Love, and the Loverly Wedding that ensued. And just possibly some more hilarity. Maybe. If I am good, and Da Momma says I can....</span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-74345587248138146842007-05-31T18:33:00.000-05:002007-05-31T18:50:21.306-05:00If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one around to hear it does it make a sound?<span style="font-family: verdana;">Ok, so I might have fucked up. A little. Maybe. I dunno. You tell me. I <span style="font-style: italic;">FINALLY</span> went back 'On The Road' today and I was visiting a customer, henceforth known as BOB'S, busily chatting away. We were having a wonderful conversation, it was the end of the day and you could see those little dream bubbles over everyones heads filled with thoughts of cold beers and steak sammiches. They sent a Jeep over to another of my customers, henceforth known as TIM'S, for an alignment, and they apparently didn't have a real relationship with this TIM'S yet. They called and asked when it would be done and one of the lackies said "UUUhhh ahhh dunno" and that was it. The owner of BOB'S obviously didn't know who to talk to. We walk out into the shop busily discussion our plans to mow, or drink tonight and the owner of BOB'S says something to the effect he'd really like to know when that Jeep would be done so he could go home. So I, the fixer of all things, piped right up and said "No problem! I know the guys!! I'll call!! Lets go to the phone!" To be fair, I thought I was <span style="font-style: italic;">HELPING</span>, I am a <span style="font-style: italic;">HELPER</span>, I like to <span style="font-style: italic;">HELP</span>. I can fix all things! And whatnot. Well, the office manager was standing there while I was talking (YES I GOT THE ANSWERS!) and as soon as I hung up she FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT ON ME! Telling me it was fucked up and not professional and what the fuck was I doing?? I started stuttering and telling her we talked about it, The Owner <span style="font-style: italic;">KNEW</span> I was doing it (at which point she said she wasn't mad at me but at him but continued to yell at me) and I apologized for overstepping my bounds and I didn't mean it and OH MY GOD LADY! HELPING!!! And then I cried because maybe I can't do this job and it's too hard and I don't like being yelled at <span style="font-style: italic;">FOR HELPING</span>. So you tell me. Was I wrong? Did I fuck it all up?? Should I just go live in a van down by the river because I will NEVER BE GOOD AT ANYTHING! Am I the ANTI-HELPER? <br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-31909101986291118292007-05-29T20:02:00.000-05:002007-05-29T20:20:28.640-05:00So I'm a little busy OK?!??!<span style="font-family:verdana;">So I got back from The Capt. doing this.<br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzPIEUHs8I/AAAAAAAAABo/t5KY6XFfcFY/s1600-h/2007_05200071.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzPIEUHs8I/AAAAAAAAABo/t5KY6XFfcFY/s320/2007_05200071.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070155018016371650" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">And This......<br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzPsEUHs9I/AAAAAAAAABw/mkyYi7EDsbA/s1600-h/2007_05200084.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzPsEUHs9I/AAAAAAAAABw/mkyYi7EDsbA/s320/2007_05200084.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070155636491662290" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">And finally THIS.....</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzQH0UHs-I/AAAAAAAAAB4/N6yN8DXddCI/s1600-h/2007_05200124.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzQH0UHs-I/AAAAAAAAAB4/N6yN8DXddCI/s320/2007_05200124.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070156113233032162" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />So yeah, I've been busy helping him nurse this....</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzQsUUHs_I/AAAAAAAAACA/SK02MZBrg98/s1600-h/2007_05210003.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzQsUUHs_I/AAAAAAAAACA/SK02MZBrg98/s320/2007_05210003.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070156740298257394" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br />And then my sister made this.........<br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzREUUHtAI/AAAAAAAAACI/id1ceUB7gTc/s1600-h/ryan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_3wg1jjS6ZVk/RlzREUUHtAI/AAAAAAAAACI/id1ceUB7gTc/s320/ryan.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070157152615117826" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br />So I was busy being an Auntie.<br /><br />Also! The shopping! OH! SWEET BLUEBERRY FLAVORED JEEBUS! Shoes for the *other* sisters wedding (not to mention support garments! Shuddup, I'm old. Fuck off. Assholes.) And Da Momma's Birthday. And my Anniversary. And my friends wedding reception gift (Who gets married by Elvis?? In Vegas??)<br /><br /><br />And now my crotchety old grandpa decided it's be a great time to have a heart attack. Thanks grandpa. I guess we still like you but OHHHH!! The SMACK you're gonna get when I get home!! I don't know who told you THAT SHIT was OK, but they've got a good smack coming too. DON'T MAKE ME TAKE MY BELT OFF!!!<br /><br />So, it's been a REALLY LONG couple of weeks. Hopefully I will have something better soon...<br /><br />I am so tired............<br /></span>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32091752.post-1113015634139032862007-05-18T10:41:00.000-05:002007-05-19T07:10:24.904-05:00Ever notice I'm not good with planning?I am a list maker extraordinaire, but rarely do I finish what I put on the lists. If you rifled through my purse you'd find reams of paper with little scribbles on them of things I <em>need</em> to do, <em>want </em>to do and <em>should </em>do. Usually I get what I <em>need</em> to do done, but not always. Most of the time they go to that great <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Pursey</span> Grave in the bottom never to be seen or heard again without revision or a second glance. Then I wander around wondering "What I need to do that was so important??" Which of course doesn't hit me until I'm floating in that happy land between wakefulness and sleep and I think "I need to remember that for tomorrow", which I never do. I'm a little scattered. I would rather be clicking happily along on<br /><br />THIS IS WHAT I'M LEFT WITH. WHY IS <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">AUTO SAVE</span> SO SPECIAL IF I CAN'T GO BACK TO PREVIOUS SAVE POINTS AFTER IT EATS MY WHOLE POST. HATE.<br /><br />Key points that were here before Blogger decided to SUCK.<br /><br /><ul><li>Groped by a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">teensy</span> tiny Eye-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">talian</span> guy under the guise of 'Alterations' for my Bridesmaids dress. </li><li>He also told me I needed bigger boobs. He rocks.</li><li>Bought more stuff from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ebay</span> to make my skin <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">porcelain</span> smooth. Thanks <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Kait</span> for rocking the Mary Kay.</li><li>I can no longer make <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">hyerlinks</span>. Every time I do it eats my post.</li></ul><p align="center">THE END.</p><p>PS.</p><p>And WHERE did my comments thingie go??</p>Just an Average Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14087018666220042868noreply@blogger.com