Ahhh... weekends....

Just so everyone knows, there has been an update on Mr. Shoe-less. Apparently, he wasn't running a scam, he was just stupid. He tried to insert his card in the receipt slot instead of the slidey thing-a-majig. So yes. The machine ate his card. Because he was Stupid. And drunk.

Yeah, I know. I have been lackadaisical about posting. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't have any funny shit to tell you. Because I don't do anything. Let me tell you what I did this weekend. Friday after work I went shopping. No, not the fun kind. Grocery shopping. The bane of my existence. Never in all my life have I been enclosed in a building with a group of ruder people! First, to Aldi's. Because I'm cheap. There must have been 900 people in this building and one cashier. Yeah, I left my cart and walked out, forfeiting my quarter.
Next stop Target. Again, because I'm cheap. It's like a slalom course of people and children in there. Then when you get to the register you have to deal with the cashiers chatting with each other, talking on the phone, chatting with the managers and forgetting all about the customer who is now simmering in a red boiling vat of hatred and rage. Haven't you people ever heard of MULTITASKING!! And to make it worse my particular cashier had OCD. Mt total was $70.85, I gave him $75. Three twenties a ten and a five. He counted it THREE TIMES, before putting it in the register and getting my change. Four dollars and fifteen cents. Again, counting it THREE TIMES, dollars three times, change three times. I don't know what screwed him up so much, maybe saying "Sebentyeightyfiv" got him thinking $78, I don't know. What I do know is that by the time I got out of there I wanted to remove his heart with a dull wooden spoon.
Then on to two grocery stores where people milled about aimlessly parking their carts at odd angles and bickering over sale prices. One would think the old people with nothing better to do could go shopping during the middle of the week, but I MUST be wrong. All the good shopping only happens at 6:30 every other Friday night. By now, you can imagine, a beer is in order.
Saturday I weed wacked for what seemed like hours, fought the good fight and chopped back my trumpet vines (maniacal fuckers), cleaned the cat litter pan, painted the spare bedroom ceiling, twice, vacuumed and fell asleep on the couch.
And today my big plan was to do the dishes, make some cookies, blog, go to Barnes and Noble and maybe go swimming at my inlaws. Underwear properly covered. Man, am I living it up huh?

Where do you live in Philly? I'm from Philly.
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