None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear.

Ferdinand Foch- French General 1851-1929

I've admitted before I am a country girl. I love living close to the city and everything that goes with it. But I am not always comfortable with it. I don't always know how to react or even act. I spend a large amount of my working time in areas of Philly that a majority of the population is Black. Or is the Proper Term African American? I don't know. I am not racist, nor am I afraid of Black people. I am however afraid of the City People. White, Black, Hispanic whatever they may be, in Philly they might shoot you. For looking at them. For being at the wrong place at the wrong time. On accident. For being white. We have crested the 300 mark on murders this year already.

And today I wanted to go to the park for lunch.

The Awbury Arboretum is on the corner of Chew Ave and Washington Ln. It's not the nicest neighborhood, but so what! It's Daytime! In a PARK! Nothing can happen right? Wrong. I got a reality check today and it scared me. I walked a small circuit of the park taking pics of flowers and general crap and decided to sit next to a mud hole they called a pond and see if I could get some good pics of the Bullfrogs. As I was waiting for the frogs to acclimate to my presence and come back 3 Black men came up the short stairway to the park. (Hereafter known as The Young One, The Old One and The Homeless one.) Which, really? No Big Deal. Except then The Young One turned around and sat down blocking the steps out of the park. And the Old One and the Homeless one stumbled over to the edge of the pond and tried to set their 40's down without breaking them.

Still! None of this is a big deal right? Right. Except I had a bad feeling. At which point I have to ask myself, Am I just being prudent? Would I react the same way if it was 3 White guys? What if they weren't obviously drunk? Would that make me more comfortable or less? They aren't talking to me, they aren't even looking at me, except I know this to be a 'Bad Area".

The Old One wanders over behind a tree to relieve himself (polite at least), and I pack up my camera. The Homeless One seems to be staring at me, but that could just be me thinking that, or him just being drunk. The Old one still hadn't come out from behind the tree and it had been about 10 minutes. I decided he might be doing drugs and I don't care, I'm leaving the park. Now. I start walking around the little pond and this guy is taking a nod, dick still in hand, while leaning against the tree. I try not to look at him, or the Homeless one as I pass by. My senses are hyper alert and I excuse myself down the stairs without incident. The Young One goes back on up the steps and completes his deal, (Whatever it was, I saw him after I got back in my car and I was pulling away, he had a black bag of something. Could have been a 40, could have been drugs, could have been a gun. OR, it could have been nothing. A book. A new shirt. I don't know.)

I don't like these feelings that today has left me with. I am afraid. I am disgusted with myself for being afraid of people. Afraid of Black People. Not all Black people Hate Whitey, or want to shoot people, or do drugs. Some of them are just trying to make it through the day. Just like me. And just like some of you. I don't want to think it makes me racist to be afraid, and yet I am afraid being afraid makes me racist. Or bigoted. Or a bad person.

When it comes down to the bare bones I am not a city girl. I think it's different if you are born in a city. There is something bred into you very DNA that makes you adept at knowing whats trouble, and whats ok, and when to leave the park. It's not going to keep me from doing my job and I will not be controlled by my fear. But I will not go back to that park. And I will be afraid when I drive through that area. If I am listening to rap, I will turn it down so they can't hear and think me a poser. Or I may even change the station all together.

Fear leaves a sour taste in my mouth.




Did someone say Cake?

Well, inspired by RSM's post yesterday about Butter I decided to give you a Desert recipe that is Butter-licious! It's sort of like a cobbler, but not really, super easy and so good and rich... It's kind of like Cake, and kind of like Pie. Cie? Pake? I don't know what to call it! Except TASTY!


So here it is.

The Cast of Characters.

1 can of Crushed Pineapple. Drained.
1 can of Cherry Pie Filling.
1 Yellow Cake mix

1 Stick Butter

Thats it. No other ingredients required.

Now, Into a 9 inch cake pan (whatever shape you like) dump the drained

(Yes, I know that is a pie dish. I used that for Your Benefit. Shuddup.)

Next, dump the cherry pie filling on top of the
pineapple. Stir together.

Pour the dry cake
mix on top of the Cherries and Pineapple.

Dot with Butter. YES. Use the whole stick.

Bake at 350 until golden brown. My apologies. I did not time mine,
20 minutes? A half hour? Ish... Take out of oven. Cool until it will not sear your mouth.

Scoop out a hefty serving. (You will come back for more. Maybe you should make 2.) Devour.

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The one in which I panic......

So, it looks as if The Capt will be fighting for THIS GROUP Oct. 20th in Joisey. With elbows to the head. To. The. Head.



In his precious little face. It hurts me thinking about it! Punches suck, but elbows are like depositing you eyeballs directly into a frying pan and just swirling them around with a fork whilst they are still attached to you head. Fun and stuff.

More on this later............



This is Almost IT.

I'm not even kidding. I almost have The Perfect Burger. ALMOST. It's killing me. I have the burger part down.

80 - 20 Hamburger
Finely Chopped Onion
Garlic Powder
Old Bay
Season Salt
and Pineapple.

No. I am not
kidding. I make burgers with pineapple in the middle. And they are delicious. You make one patty nice and thin and stick a pineapple ring, or pineapple bits with sharp cheese in the middle then throw another patty on top. It is Teh Delicious-ness. Trust me. Make them. But don't use regular hamburger buns, they don't have the power to withstand the juicy-goodness that is a pineapple burger. Use a hard roll. A Portuguese Roll, or Toasted French bread. Something dense.

Then I have a wonderful condiment. It is also the delicious-ness. But not quite right for the burger. It's almost it, but not quite.

1/2 of a 16 oz package of Bacon. Whatever kind you like.
Fry that shit up. Save the grease.

-Shaddup Asshole. I burned myself.

1 puff bag of pre-made Coleslaw. (Yes, I cheat.)
1 1/2 onion. I used a Mouli to slice mine. Make it thin and long cut like coleslaw.
And I stoled the dressing from this recipe. OOOOO! TO DIE FOR.

But just this part:

In a small bowl, whisk together the egg, vinegar, and sugar. Season with salt and pepper. Stir the egg mixture into the skillet with the warm bacon grease. Mix in the diced bacon and flour, and whisk for about 1 minute, until thickened to the consistency of salad dressing.

Then, while it was hot, I poured it on the Coleslaw mixture I made and tossed it. As Homer would say


I made the dressing first and mixed it and the coleslaw stuff
all up. I let it marinate in the fridge for a couple hours.

When I was ready for dinner I made up my burgers and cooked them on my George Foreman Grill. If you are cooking them on an actual grill you need to know, set the heat low to medium. You only get one flip with a pineapple burger before they start to break apart. I assembled my burger and it was really good. I really enjoyed the vinnegrett flavor against the slightly sweet, slightly greasey flavor of the burger. Unfortunately the burger flavor manages to over take the coleslaw flavor by the end of the burger. In my opinion. Y
ou make them and tell me if I'm crazy. Please? I was also thinking a little celery seed in the coleslaw stuff, or maybe sunflower seeds, but that's not what it's missing.

You make 'em.

Tell me what you think.


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