8.16.2006
Uuuuhhmm, yeah......
My husband, hence forth known as Capt. Ass-Kicker, got a new job yesterday. Everyone say YAY. To celebrate we went down to our local pub with a couple friends. What you have to understand about 'our' bar is its just that. A bar. Not a dance club. The music's never so loud you can't talk, the foods good old fashioned bar food, and it's a workers bar. Dirty painters, tree guys, and mechanics frequent this fine establishment. And its fun. Usually.
Last night as we walked in there were the usual guys. With one exception. This guy. He's not a
regular. No big deal right? Suuuuurrrreee....... We take our stools at the bar and hang out for about 20 minutes. I'm a people watcher so I notice Mr. Mullet go to the ATM. With no shoes on. That folks is class. I giggled a bit and continued to watch. Dude looks over the ATM and it's not an old fashioned take your card and give it back when your done' kind, it's the new-fangled slider kind. He slides his card in and pockets it, continuing to push buttons the whole time. He turns back, swaggers back to his barstool where his equally shoeless girlfriend waits with there 2 cheese steaks, plastic container of gaspatcho (which she has been munching on) and 3 six packs of Corona. He lights a smoke, and drunkenly waives our nice little blond bartender over. Now I am straiiiiining to hear the conversation.
"Hey. Your Machine ate my card. Won't give me any cash, lady" Mr. Shoeless says...
"Uuuhhhmm... OK. lets go have a look." Ms. Little blond bartender.....
*Swaggering occurs*
*Looking over the machine* "There's no way this machine could have eaten your card" Ms. Little blond bartender
Naturally, there's the table of young cocky buggers at a table, and as he passes between them and us I hear "Nice shirt dude..."
Damn.....
He turns, ready for a fight, and they start chatting him up. No biggy, just some makin' fun of the drunk guy right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. Enter the little girlfriend. Wow. Cute, but stupid. They are standing at the table and he starts man handling her, twisting her arms behind her back and I hear her utter the phrase
"Yeah, he likes to keep me barefoot, hee hee hee!"
Ok, well, if she's happy..... So he continues to manhandle her and all the sudden I have the sharp end of an elbow penetrating my spinal column. Repeat performance, and again. Yeah, by now I am not happy. ( I.E. I turn and say "WHAT THE FUCK???) Finally Ms. Shoeless bounces out the door, Mr. Shoeless argues with Ms. Little blond bartender, who by now has figured out it was a scam, and he exits the bar, sans beer and food yelling all the way
"Don't worry sweetie, You ain't gonna get beat for this...."
So, Mr. and Ms. Shoeless have drank for a hour and had gaspatcho for free... Never to be heard from again.
The end
Just so everyone knows, my In-laws caught me in my undies again tonight. Yeah, it rocks.
Last night as we walked in there were the usual guys. With one exception. This guy. He's not a
regular. No big deal right? Suuuuurrrreee....... We take our stools at the bar and hang out for about 20 minutes. I'm a people watcher so I notice Mr. Mullet go to the ATM. With no shoes on. That folks is class. I giggled a bit and continued to watch. Dude looks over the ATM and it's not an old fashioned take your card and give it back when your done' kind, it's the new-fangled slider kind. He slides his card in and pockets it, continuing to push buttons the whole time. He turns back, swaggers back to his barstool where his equally shoeless girlfriend waits with there 2 cheese steaks, plastic container of gaspatcho (which she has been munching on) and 3 six packs of Corona. He lights a smoke, and drunkenly waives our nice little blond bartender over. Now I am straiiiiining to hear the conversation."Hey. Your Machine ate my card. Won't give me any cash, lady" Mr. Shoeless says...
"Uuuhhhmm... OK. lets go have a look." Ms. Little blond bartender.....
*Swaggering occurs*
*Looking over the machine* "There's no way this machine could have eaten your card" Ms. Little blond bartender
Naturally, there's the table of young cocky buggers at a table, and as he passes between them and us I hear "Nice shirt dude..."
Damn.....
He turns, ready for a fight, and they start chatting him up. No biggy, just some makin' fun of the drunk guy right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. Enter the little girlfriend. Wow. Cute, but stupid. They are standing at the table and he starts man handling her, twisting her arms behind her back and I hear her utter the phrase
"Yeah, he likes to keep me barefoot, hee hee hee!"
Ok, well, if she's happy..... So he continues to manhandle her and all the sudden I have the sharp end of an elbow penetrating my spinal column. Repeat performance, and again. Yeah, by now I am not happy. ( I.E. I turn and say "WHAT THE FUCK???) Finally Ms. Shoeless bounces out the door, Mr. Shoeless argues with Ms. Little blond bartender, who by now has figured out it was a scam, and he exits the bar, sans beer and food yelling all the way
"Don't worry sweetie, You ain't gonna get beat for this...."
So, Mr. and Ms. Shoeless have drank for a hour and had gaspatcho for free... Never to be heard from again.
The end
Just so everyone knows, my In-laws caught me in my undies again tonight. Yeah, it rocks.
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