No Kids, No Life, Just a Wife

Sorry kiddies. I have been close to dying for almost a friggin week now due to RSM's kids cold, yes, I'm blaming her, and stress from in-law visits. Not to mention I killed my immune system and kindneys with beer. All I have wanted to do is sleep. So I have no real good stories for ya. Capt. Ass-kicker started his new job on Tuesday and all he has to say about it is "Now I work for a living." No more Cushy retail shit for him. Me, I'm same old same old. Drooling on my keyboard all day waiting for payday. Except I am totally and completely annoyed this week. I forgot how annoying people can be when you are sick. I don't want to answer the phone, I don't want to talk to them and most of all I DON'T want to be "Verbally Groped" by them this week.


10. I'll never leave you alone...... (heavy breathing)

9. Aww, are you sick? Lets go home and I'll tuck you in...

8. You should let me give you an alcohol rub...

7. Do you need a full body massage? I'm free...

6. I'll bring you some chicken soup and we can cuddle up...

5. If you leave your husband I'll buy you a Vette...

4. What are you wearing???

3. UUuuuhhhhmmm, what nationality are you? (my name has a certain ethnic feel when mispronounced)

2. You husband, he prolly cheetin' on you. You shod check his cell phone. You wanna go out?

And the number one line of the week.....

1. Hey, you and your husband are the same age as my wife and me. You guys swing? We could all go out to dinner sometime and "Hang out" ya know.....

Yeah, my job ROCKS sometimes.....