Last night The Capt. and I went out for a nice meal of crab legs and beer at our local dive. It was fun and we had a good time. After we ate we popped next door, to the Irish style pub we usually hang out at. The Capt., he got a wee bit tipsy. And Argumentative. He trains mixed martial arts most every day. He wants me to train 2 days a week with him. Now, you need to understand I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS. Our conversation last night.

The Capt: "Oh yeah, you're going to start training 2 days a week with me"

Me: "Uuuuuhhhhmmmmm, no."

The Capt: "Sure you are. I am the Man and what I say goes"
*which was a joke, and I understood that.*

Me: "Yeah, good luck with that."

The Capt: "Hey Dugan (A friends of ours of the female persuasion) wanna come train with Laundry Broad two days a week?"

Me: *Look of shock and incredulity*

Dugan: "Sure, how's thursday?"

The Capt: "Perfect!"

Now I feel like I've been pushed and manipulated into doing something I had no intention of doing to begin with. I used to train with Dugan, it was fine. Previously I had told The Capt. I would only train with women so he felt validated in offering me up on a platter because, 'hey, it's a girl, you said you'd train with a girl'. Fine, ok, no big deal right? Riiiiiiight. On our way home we got in a fight about it. All I wanted was for him to have asked me if I would train with Dugan. I would have said yes. But because he made the assumption I would, I was a little disappointed and hurt. So, I said something about it. At which point he FLEW.THE.FUCK.OFF.THE.HANDLE.

"What is so wrong with trying to help you? You never do anything unless I push you as hard as I can. If manipulating you is the only way to get you to do anything I'll do it!"

"Don't tell me I can't make money out of the house by giving lessons!"
(which had nothing to do with me not wanting to train...)

"What is wrong with you? I'll pay for help. I go with you. You are out of your mind."

"what's the difference if you would have done it anyway?"

He woke me up at 3:30 and asked me if I was still mad at him. I was never mad. I was Hurt. Disappointed. All I wanted was for him to understand my point of view and agree that Yes, I should have a say in my own life. I may Smoke (I know it's bad for me), I drink, (probably to much), and I don't exercise in any conventional way but ya know what?? Its MINE. The more he pushes me to stop smoking and drinking and start exercising and taking care of myself the less I want to. It may seem childish and vindictive but God Damn do I hate to be pushed into doing things. I know it's all because 'He loves me' and 'He wants us to grow old together' but he makes me want to scream at him sometimes. I mean FUCK! LEAVE ME ALONE. It's not denial, I know all the things I do are bad for me and are killing me. Trust me, I KNOW ALREADY!

Was I wrong in thinking he should have asked me first? Am I crazy?

He should have asked you. Even though he only wants the best for you Its you who have to decide for yourself :)
I totally know what you mean. I don't know if it's because I never really grew up past 16 or so, but I HATE, with the fire of a thousand suns, anyone telling me what to do. I'm very much a self starter, and I like that. I didn't get along with my parents because I have problems with authority, so do you think I would respond well to my husband if he tried that? No way, jose!

Anyway, I think that you're justified in your response. Did you tell him that you prefer to make your own decisions in your own time? Maybe he doesn't get that. Or maybe it was because he had too much to drink - so he opened his mouth before his thought, and then his Big Man Pride wouldn't let him back out of what he had started?
Yeah, I think he should have asked you first instead of assuming. It's sweet that he woke you up to talk about it though. I think it shows that he felt bad for what he did. Just make sure he knows to please come to you next time, and then give eachother a big sappy hug! :P
Yes he should have asked you. That's only fair. Men are not very smart most of the time.

But on a different note. I have a female friend named Dugan too! It's her last name but we call her that instead of calling her by her first name. Just had to add that in there.
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