1.10.2007

 

Funny Stories about What I Do...

For those of you who don't know I sell Auto parts to Mechanics. Yeah, thats what I said, Car Parts. I am the only girl at my business. It's not so bad really. I am good at what I do, I have to be. When I started on this business I had just quit college and I needed a job they way you need air. So when a job at our local AutoZone popped up I jumped at the chance. Retail sucks. Retail sucks worse when you're in a predominately male industry. And even worses than just a male industry?? Most Do it Yourselfer's have NO.CLUE. A typical day went like this:

Me: Can I help you find something sir?

Dumb Man Type: UUuuhhhh.... is there one of the guys around?

Me: Sure thing sir! HEY TIMMY! YOU GOT A CUSTOMER!!
*(side note, Timmy was a little retarded. No. Really. Little bus to school retarded)

Dumb Man Type: I need a plenum gasket for my Cirrus...

Timmy: hey Laundry Broad? Whats a Plenum gasket? Who make a cirrus? How do I look it up in the computer? Duuuurrrrrr.....

Dumb Man Type: *heavy sigh of frustration, hate, discontent because now the GIRL is going to help me even if I didn't want her to cuz GIRLS DON'T KNOW ABOUT CARS GEEZ!*

On the inside I was laughing while I innocently helped Timmy look things up at a drastically reduced speed. Because he is slow. And also? I WIN FUCKER.

Anyone else work in male retail land? Can anyone explain to me why all 'Older' men want to call me 'Hunni', 'Sweetie' in that sickeningly sweet maybe I want to fuck you later voice? AND TOUCH YOU??? I DO NOT NEED YOU TO RUB MY BACK WHILE I GET YOUR AIR FILTER! And? For realz?? Stop asking me how I learned about cars. I did it the same way boys do it. Really. Honest! Just because I habe an 'Innie' not an 'Outie' doesn't mean that I never got my hands dirty, or I 'read up on it' and have no actual practical knowledge of how to change you brakes.

Oh, also? Hey guys?? Just so you know. Wearing sweatpants out of the house without nut huggers? Not such a good idea. I can see your Junk Jiggle. I don't really want to see your junk, jiggly or otherwise. It's like the guy version of Camel Toe. No one needs to see that. Not even Sweet Baby Jebus.

Comments:
Ha ha haha hahaha!!! I used to work at the Home Depot, and was the senior person in my department (flooring). I was the head sales person, so I was basically the supervisor in training. Anyway, people would constantly walk past me and ask the guys in my department questions... who would end up asking me. Most people didn't touch me, but I got a lot of sweeties and stuff. I had one guy whistle for me (as in a "come here" whistle, not a "you're hot" whistle), so I turned around and told him that I was not his dog and I would help him once he decided to use his words. Stupid pecker.
 
Ok, we can't have Kait being the only one to comment and making you feel like we don't read. I read this last night but I'm just commenting now.

PINK HAIR!!!
 
I also work in male dominated retail land...The Home Depot. I have heard it all in my 12 1/2 years there; from "hey baby will you check me out"-mind you I was absolutely no where near a register at the time-to "hey baby nice gap" as I was reaching up to retreive a key to cut from the top shelf for another customer. Sometimes it's cute, like when 90 year old guys are looking for $.63 air filters for their furnace and they tell you that having such a pretty girl around made their day but most times it just sucks. I am a manager now, and get really sick of answering the phone and hearing "I was holding for the manager" because obviously I must be some dumb retarded bitch who just randomly picks up phone calls that are not intended for her, or being told in person "YOU are the manager??!?" because I must have some weird fascination with pretending to be someone I am not, look too young, and happen to have a vagina. Really, do they honestly believe that I would volunteer to listen to their incessant whining if I weren't getting paid a very good dollar to do so? I do genuinely care about my customers and their issues and work very hard to resolve them in the most efficient and professional manner possible. But it is extremely frustrating to be summarily written off for being a woman or young or whatever. So all in all, I guess my point is that I feel your pain and do also take some satisfaction when ignorant fools have to accept my help against their wishes. Rock on sista!
 
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