The Scale.....

***Possibly not safe for my dad to read. You may get grossed out, just so you know.

Lately The BIFF's have been discussing the cost of a blow job and whether or not we should charge for such services. Well, last night a similar conversation came up in the Laundry household.

The Capt: Can I get you to at least touch it tonight?

Me: I told you yesterday I hurt my hand. I'd have to use my left.

The Capt: That would work for me..... Or you could touch it with your mouth...

Me: OOooohhhh..... those are my options huh?? What do I get out of this?

The Capt: UUuuummmm.... I have $5 dollars.....

Me: No way! Touching it with my mouth is worth way more than $5 dollars.

The Capt: I'll give you all the money I have over there in my hat.

Me: How much?

The Capt: I'm not telling and tipping my hand....

Me: Fine I'll look myself. FOURTEEN DOLLARS??? That's what you think touching it with my mouth is worth?? Geeez..... cheapo.

The Capt: Well, how much then?

Me: At least $20. It should be at least $20. For touching with my left hand.

The Capt: WHAT?? That should be like $4!! Hands should be $4, Blow Jobs like $14 and Anal like $20!

Me: HAHAHAHA! Are you kidding? $4 dollars to touch it?? I wouldn't get it near my mouth for less than $20, and Anal?? Are you kidding? You'd best just sign over your paycheck bitch.

The Capt: *Pfffftttt* What ever..... *miserable bitch doesn't even like my wiener anymore*

Me: You know I'm going to have to tell the girls about this. We were discussing this the other day.

The Capt: Discussing what?

Me: You know, how much we charge....

The Capt: There's something wrong with you guys.... seriously.....

So now girls and boys we have a pay scale. Does it work for you?

Touch left handed: $10
Mouth: $20 (price adjustable for Finishing Move)
Anal: Give me your pay check.

You know? We've never had this conversation, and maybe it's because we are so, so very vanilla, but yeah. I don't see it happening in our future, either, which is fine with me!
I don't charge for sexual acts, but if I were going to, I like your pay scale. I do give up the booty hole... like... once or twice a year. Anymore than that and it loses it's street value.
It's a whole supply and demand thing. It's all about the economics biatch!
We are seriously seriously disturbed girls....at least to the outside world....and I still think you're selling yourself short here...just sayin'. This pay scale is not nearly high enough...paycheck? More like new house....and Carrisa...wow...if there is such a thing as too much info, we may have just reached it. HAHAHAHA....as if.
no way- anal costs way more than that!
This entry cracked my shit up. Oh man.

And dude, anal? Yeah no way. I could never be paid enough to do that (just personal preference, not knocking anybody!), but if I could, it would def. be more than one paycheck!

The rest of the scale looks pretty good.

"*miserable bitch doesn't even like my wiener anymore*" That part made me laugh SO hard. Co-workers were staring.
Ha ha ha ha funny

I`m a cheapass, I do most of it for free, or acctually, i do it by the princip of do to others as you want others to do for you. And it`s working out fine in this household. and as a result of thet sentence the anal thing has yet to happen here ;)
It's time for a new post hun. Just sayin'
***sob!*** But I've got nuthin!! I'm going out tonight notebook and camera in hand. Hopefully I'll have something for ya tomarrow!
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