She looked like Madonna, but not really.....

So, Saturday night we took a stroll over to our local watering hole to meet up with some friends. As it turns out, we got more than we bargained for. It was a night worth remembering! We walked in around 9 and sat in our usual seats at the end of the bar where the waitresses and bartenders hang out. There were a few people we knew hanging around, and we were chatting away having a grand ol'time right up until we hear this. We'll call this woman Madonna, you'll see why soon enough.

Madonna: "We've been hear since 4. I'm druuuunk. I can still understand what you're saying though. Ya know what I mean? I'm not to that point yet."

The Capt. turns and looks at me with that cocked eyebrow look that says 'This could go real good, or real bad'. The things that came out of her drunk mouth were absolutely HYSTERICAL. It went a little something like this....

Capt: Oh yeah? But you're not to the point where you need to go home huh?

Madonna: Oh no. I'm Puerto Rican, I can handle my beer...

Capt: Well, that's good.

Madonna: I grew up in P.R. I used to think I looked like Madonna. But I didn't really, I only thought I did. Wait I have pictures....

The Hippie (our bar tender friend): You better watch your self Capt. She's a spit fire..

Madonna: Yeah, I'm a Spic farm.

Me, The Capt. and The Hippie: What???? What did you just say????

Madonna: Yeah I'm a Spic Farm...

(At which point we all dissolved into hysterical laughter, I might have peed a little from that.)

Madonna: You have to watch yourself. Us Puerto Rican girls, we'll cut you... Here's the pictures! I thought I looked like Madonna and I was skinny but really I was chubby.


Madonna: I know right?? I wore the stretchy pants, ya know, the stretchy pants? You know what I mean?? And look in that picture, at the door. In P.R. we didn't have door knobs, we used a butter knife. And in this picture you can see our driveway. That was our neighbors house and that was our driveway. That Fucking Bitch was a Fucking Asshole....

I think we left at 11. Madonna and her Hubs were still there telling stories and being a spic farm........

Ha ha ha... I wish our local pub's came with entertainment! :)
I miss all the fun times... damn cold. -mr
Dude, you totally needed to put a "Hey don't read at work because you're going to snicker for hours afterwards". Too many funny things.
She said:
I know, right? !!!!!
Us P.R. girls, we'll cut you
the stretchy pants thing just pushed me over the edge.

That was so funny!
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