No Kids, No Life, Just a Wife

I just want to make that clear before I tell you this story. Working in Philly has really opened my eyes as far as different accents. I have spanish guys, korean guys, chinese and japanese, a few russians, some english guys, pretty much you pick it I hear it. Whn I first started this job I had an awful time 'hearing' and 'understanding' but after awhile I learned to 'hear' what they were saying, not what it sounded like. For example:

Korean Customer: "I nee a stata fow ninee-sic cysler cillus"
Translation: "I need a starter for a nintey-six chrystler cirrus"

Me: "How are you today Boris?"
Boris the Russian: "Marrrrrvolous, just Maaarrrrrrvolous! You send me Brrrrakes and Rrrrotor for tempo, is good, ya?"

Now, mostly I have gotten past the accent differences except for with a few customers. These guys piss me off because they don't even TRY to be intelligable! There enunciation sucks so bad I want to rip their tongues right out of their mouths. I understand, yes, you learned most of the language which is a HUGE undertaking, I can't even learn Portuguese. But, here's the difference. I AM NOT IN A COUNTRY THAT SPEAKS PORTUGUESE. I don't mind if you make mistakes in the application of our language, it's to be expected. What pisses me off is the fact they make no attempt to ennunciate. I have this whispery little fuck who is SO. DIFFICULT. Example:

Whispery Little Fuck: "Emeency swi.. in coroo...you knoo.... fo emeency.. bink bink... you kno...... wha I mea????
Translation: "I need a emergency switch (also known as hazard light switch) in the coloumn, you know, the emergency light switch, do you understand what I mean?"

Me:"AAAAAARRRGGGG MUTHERFUCK!! NO I DO NO KNO WHA YOU MEA..... STOP WHISPERING!!!! I HATE YOU!!"

Please, for the love of god someone kill me before I cut someone.....

Labels: discontent., hate, work