10.26.2007
Mrs. Crazy?? Could you come with me please?
So, did you know I hate my health insurance? Cuz I do. It rocks. In order for me to go to the chiropractor (oh! Sweet love!) I need a referral. Ok. NO problem right? WRONG! Let me lay out a time line for you! It'll be fun! Tra-la-la!
2:35 I get to the office! All good! My appointment is for 2:45! I signed more paperwork than the last time I bought a car! As an added bonus, I have no medical records! The last Doctors office I went to is only mandated to keep the patient record for 7 years and since it had been 10 since my last visit, they were GONE! YAY!
2:45 Waiting...... Notice a pregnant girl sitting across from me. She appears to be younger than me...... find out she has 4 KIDS! FOUR!!!!! And another Bun in the Oven. And she COUGHS. A. LOT. ON. ME. You are familiar with the bronchitis cough, yes? The deep lung horking cough?
Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh...... Thats the one.....
3:00 Waiting......
3:15 Waiting.... Notice the Crazy woman to the right of me. She had brought to the Doctors office with her 1. Full, with books, Jansport PINK backpack. 2. Full Aldi's bag. I don't know what it had in it but it wasn't groceries. 3. Full size purse. Filled with shit. So full she couldn't do up the zippers.
And she was dressed crazy too! She was wearing Capri pants, with jeans over top. How do I know what she was wearing under the Jeans?? There were fresh holes torn in the jeans so the Capri's poked through. Coincidence?? I THINK NOT!! Not to mention I think she had friggin' PNEUMONIA and she did not cover her mouth. And she touched every magazine. Twice. I swear to Sweet Baby Jeebus I could feel her germs and phlegm sticking to my eyeballs at one point. It was awful.
3:30 STILL WAITING while I catch Leprosy...
FINALLY! I get called back. The nurse takes my info and I say to her
Me: I am just here to get a referral so I can go see a Chiropractor
Nursey: Well, you probably won't get that.... They'll want you to see an Orthopod first....
Me: Actually, I don't want to see an Orthopod and since I'm paying, I'll just take my referral.
Nurrsy: No, You don't see, the insurance companies do it this way...
Me: Either you people will give me a referral or I will go someplace else and get it. Someone *Will* write me a referral.....
Nursy: Ok then, I'll send in the Doctor.
Needless to say, I got my referral and I have my appointment set up for Tuesday.
Fuckers.
2:35 I get to the office! All good! My appointment is for 2:45! I signed more paperwork than the last time I bought a car! As an added bonus, I have no medical records! The last Doctors office I went to is only mandated to keep the patient record for 7 years and since it had been 10 since my last visit, they were GONE! YAY!
2:45 Waiting...... Notice a pregnant girl sitting across from me. She appears to be younger than me...... find out she has 4 KIDS! FOUR!!!!! And another Bun in the Oven. And she COUGHS. A. LOT. ON. ME. You are familiar with the bronchitis cough, yes? The deep lung horking cough?
Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh...... Thats the one.....
3:00 Waiting......
3:15 Waiting.... Notice the Crazy woman to the right of me. She had brought to the Doctors office with her 1. Full, with books, Jansport PINK backpack. 2. Full Aldi's bag. I don't know what it had in it but it wasn't groceries. 3. Full size purse. Filled with shit. So full she couldn't do up the zippers.
And she was dressed crazy too! She was wearing Capri pants, with jeans over top. How do I know what she was wearing under the Jeans?? There were fresh holes torn in the jeans so the Capri's poked through. Coincidence?? I THINK NOT!! Not to mention I think she had friggin' PNEUMONIA and she did not cover her mouth. And she touched every magazine. Twice. I swear to Sweet Baby Jeebus I could feel her germs and phlegm sticking to my eyeballs at one point. It was awful.
3:30 STILL WAITING while I catch Leprosy...
FINALLY! I get called back. The nurse takes my info and I say to her
Me: I am just here to get a referral so I can go see a Chiropractor
Nursey: Well, you probably won't get that.... They'll want you to see an Orthopod first....
Me: Actually, I don't want to see an Orthopod and since I'm paying, I'll just take my referral.
Nurrsy: No, You don't see, the insurance companies do it this way...
Me: Either you people will give me a referral or I will go someplace else and get it. Someone *Will* write me a referral.....
Nursy: Ok then, I'll send in the Doctor.
Needless to say, I got my referral and I have my appointment set up for Tuesday.
Fuckers.
10.16.2007
Overheard in Ardmore....
**Picture this: a young woman pulls up in a beat up Cavalier with two older Gents. One Older gent is obviously handicapped. The other Old Gent seems lucid, and coherent. The Young Woman obviously frustrated and overwhelmed.**
Young Woman: Give me your jacket. (to Old gent #1)
Old Gent #1: Why? Why can't I have my jacket?
Old Gent #2: *shuffle shuffle* (puts hands in pockets)
Young Woman: You don't Need It.
Old Gent #1: Why don't I Need It?? It's my jacket.
(at this point they are pulling on the jacket, first he pulls, then she pulls, repeat.)
Young Woman: You're angry.
Old gent #2: *Shuffle Shuffle* (Takes hands out of pockets, looks at arguers uncomfortably)
Old Gent #1: Yes I am. I want my jacket.
Young Woman: STOP BEING ANGRY. ANGRY MEANS NURSING HOME. *throws jacket at him.*
Me: Ummmm... *jaw slack staring at them because OMG?? Did she just threaten him with a nursing home over a jacket??*
Young Woman: *head snaps around to see if anyone saw her threaten Old Gent #1. She spies me staring and stomps off into Applebee's with both old Gents shuffling along behind.*
Just so you know, Old Gent #1 got to keep his jacket.
Young Woman: Give me your jacket. (to Old gent #1)
Old Gent #1: Why? Why can't I have my jacket?
Old Gent #2: *shuffle shuffle* (puts hands in pockets)
Young Woman: You don't Need It.
Old Gent #1: Why don't I Need It?? It's my jacket.
(at this point they are pulling on the jacket, first he pulls, then she pulls, repeat.)
Young Woman: You're angry.
Old gent #2: *Shuffle Shuffle* (Takes hands out of pockets, looks at arguers uncomfortably)
Old Gent #1: Yes I am. I want my jacket.
Young Woman: STOP BEING ANGRY. ANGRY MEANS NURSING HOME. *throws jacket at him.*
Me: Ummmm... *jaw slack staring at them because OMG?? Did she just threaten him with a nursing home over a jacket??*
Young Woman: *head snaps around to see if anyone saw her threaten Old Gent #1. She spies me staring and stomps off into Applebee's with both old Gents shuffling along behind.*
Just so you know, Old Gent #1 got to keep his jacket.
Labels: ANGRY MEANS NURSING HOME, Oldd guys
10.03.2007
Do you Merge? Or, Road Rage: 101
Answer me a few leeeeetol questions about Proper Driving Etiquette would you Por Favor? Si? Si. When there is a sign stating
Do you do so? And at your earliest convenience? Or are you a racer? Must you be at the front of the line fucking up traffic for the rest of us? Yes, yes. There is a story here. Allow me to illiterate.....
I've just merged onto RT 309 (kindly, and with proper etiquette I might add) and there is a large orange sign that states
I do so in a timely manner. With Turn Signals. Yes, the right lane is a wee bit slower, but if everyone moves over in a timely manner we will fly through the miles and miles of one-lane-iness. Unfortunately that is spoiled by the inhuman mutherfuckers who MUST. BE. FIRST! Because Lord knows they are Important! VIP's!
Anyway..... I rant! So this woman in a Big Ass SUV starts merging into my car. OH HELLZ NAW BITCH!
Me: WHAT THE FUCK!!!
SUV Lady: WHY YOU BEIN' SO RUDE??
(she was white and I don't know how to type a Brooklyn accent)
Me: YOU SHOULD HAVE MERGED BACK WHEN THE SIGN TOLD YOU TO. *stupid bitch isn't getting in now. Fuck all that noise*
SUV Lady: BECAUSE EVERY ONE IS BEING A RUDE BITCH LIKE YOU AND WOULDN'T LET ME IN!
*I would like to point out she was NOT using her turn signal.
Me: I'M A RUDE BITCH? YOU'RE NOT USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL!!!!!!!!!
So, no. I did not let her in. I made that bitch brake. I feel I am in the right (if slightly road ragey and vindictive. I could have let her in.) One of the Rules of the Road I learned was when you wanted to move your vehicle into another lane you use your turn signal to indicate you would be doing so, or use your signal to ASK to move into the lane.
Let me give you a little analogy. It's like in High School when the bigger kids would cut the lunch line. You either push your way in or you ask your friend to cut. If you ask me I will let you cut, but if you try and shove your way in I will make you hit my car. So you tell me. Am I completely wrong? I know I react poorly, but the concept, it's right isn't it? You should ASK to cut the line.....
P.S. I totally know I have a problem about the turn signals but they are there for a reason! USE THEM.
LEFT LANE CLOSED
PLEASE MERGE RIGHT
PLEASE MERGE RIGHT
Do you do so? And at your earliest convenience? Or are you a racer? Must you be at the front of the line fucking up traffic for the rest of us? Yes, yes. There is a story here. Allow me to illiterate.....
I've just merged onto RT 309 (kindly, and with proper etiquette I might add) and there is a large orange sign that states
LEFT LANE CLOSED
PLEASE MERGE RIGHT
PLEASE MERGE RIGHT
I do so in a timely manner. With Turn Signals. Yes, the right lane is a wee bit slower, but if everyone moves over in a timely manner we will fly through the miles and miles of one-lane-iness. Unfortunately that is spoiled by the inhuman mutherfuckers who MUST. BE. FIRST! Because Lord knows they are Important! VIP's!
Anyway..... I rant! So this woman in a Big Ass SUV starts merging into my car. OH HELLZ NAW BITCH!
Me: WHAT THE FUCK!!!
SUV Lady: WHY YOU BEIN' SO RUDE??
(she was white and I don't know how to type a Brooklyn accent)
Me: YOU SHOULD HAVE MERGED BACK WHEN THE SIGN TOLD YOU TO. *stupid bitch isn't getting in now. Fuck all that noise*
SUV Lady: BECAUSE EVERY ONE IS BEING A RUDE BITCH LIKE YOU AND WOULDN'T LET ME IN!
*I would like to point out she was NOT using her turn signal.
Me: I'M A RUDE BITCH? YOU'RE NOT USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL!!!!!!!!!
So, no. I did not let her in. I made that bitch brake. I feel I am in the right (if slightly road ragey and vindictive. I could have let her in.) One of the Rules of the Road I learned was when you wanted to move your vehicle into another lane you use your turn signal to indicate you would be doing so, or use your signal to ASK to move into the lane.
Let me give you a little analogy. It's like in High School when the bigger kids would cut the lunch line. You either push your way in or you ask your friend to cut. If you ask me I will let you cut, but if you try and shove your way in I will make you hit my car. So you tell me. Am I completely wrong? I know I react poorly, but the concept, it's right isn't it? You should ASK to cut the line.....
P.S. I totally know I have a problem about the turn signals but they are there for a reason! USE THEM.
Labels: fuckers.
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