No Kids, No Life, Just a Wife

Ok, so I might have fucked up. A little. Maybe. I dunno. You tell me. I FINALLY went back 'On The Road' today and I was visiting a customer, henceforth known as BOB'S, busily chatting away. We were having a wonderful conversation, it was the end of the day and you could see those little dream bubbles over everyones heads filled with thoughts of cold beers and steak sammiches. They sent a Jeep over to another of my customers, henceforth known as TIM'S, for an alignment, and they apparently didn't have a real relationship with this TIM'S yet. They called and asked when it would be done and one of the lackies said "UUUhhh ahhh dunno" and that was it. The owner of BOB'S obviously didn't know who to talk to. We walk out into the shop busily discussion our plans to mow, or drink tonight and the owner of BOB'S says something to the effect he'd really like to know when that Jeep would be done so he could go home. So I, the fixer of all things, piped right up and said "No problem! I know the guys!! I'll call!! Lets go to the phone!" To be fair, I thought I was HELPING, I am a HELPER, I like to HELP. I can fix all things! And whatnot. Well, the office manager was standing there while I was talking (YES I GOT THE ANSWERS!) and as soon as I hung up she FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT ON ME! Telling me it was fucked up and not professional and what the fuck was I doing?? I started stuttering and telling her we talked about it, The Owner KNEW I was doing it (at which point she said she wasn't mad at me but at him but continued to yell at me) and I apologized for overstepping my bounds and I didn't mean it and OH MY GOD LADY! HELPING!!! And then I cried because maybe I can't do this job and it's too hard and I don't like being yelled at FOR HELPING. So you tell me. Was I wrong? Did I fuck it all up?? Should I just go live in a van down by the river because I will NEVER BE GOOD AT ANYTHING! Am I the ANTI-HELPER?

Labels: OMG kill me please

So I got back from The Capt. doing this.

And This......

And finally THIS.....


So yeah, I've been busy helping him nurse this....



And then my sister made this.........


So I was busy being an Auntie.

Also! The shopping! OH! SWEET BLUEBERRY FLAVORED JEEBUS! Shoes for the *other* sisters wedding (not to mention support garments! Shuddup, I'm old. Fuck off. Assholes.) And Da Momma's Birthday. And my Anniversary. And my friends wedding reception gift (Who gets married by Elvis?? In Vegas??)


And now my crotchety old grandpa decided it's be a great time to have a heart attack. Thanks grandpa. I guess we still like you but OHHHH!! The SMACK you're gonna get when I get home!! I don't know who told you THAT SHIT was OK, but they've got a good smack coming too. DON'T MAKE ME TAKE MY BELT OFF!!!

So, it's been a REALLY LONG couple of weeks. Hopefully I will have something better soon...

I am so tired............

I am a list maker extraordinaire, but rarely do I finish what I put on the lists. If you rifled through my purse you'd find reams of paper with little scribbles on them of things I need to do, want to do and should do. Usually I get what I need to do done, but not always. Most of the time they go to that great Pursey Grave in the bottom never to be seen or heard again without revision or a second glance. Then I wander around wondering "What I need to do that was so important??" Which of course doesn't hit me until I'm floating in that happy land between wakefulness and sleep and I think "I need to remember that for tomorrow", which I never do. I'm a little scattered. I would rather be clicking happily along on

THIS IS WHAT I'M LEFT WITH. WHY IS AUTO SAVE SO SPECIAL IF I CAN'T GO BACK TO PREVIOUS SAVE POINTS AFTER IT EATS MY WHOLE POST. HATE.

Key points that were here before Blogger decided to SUCK.

• Groped by a teensy tiny Eye-talian guy under the guise of 'Alterations' for my Bridesmaids dress.
• He also told me I needed bigger boobs. He rocks.
• Bought more stuff from ebay to make my skin porcelain smooth. Thanks Kait for rocking the Mary Kay.
• I can no longer make hyerlinks. Every time I do it eats my post.

THE END.

PS.

And WHERE did my comments thingie go??

And starting to get really NERVOUS. This weekend! Saturday as a matter of fact, my Husband, The Capt. will be fighting his FIRST! EVER! PRO! FIGHT! In a real stadium! With real people who watch UFC watching him! And Me and our friends! I'm extremely proud of him. And also feel like I might vomit a little. He is going up a weight class. He'll be fighting 140lbs. Against a guy who's done this before. He's going to get hit in the face. He is going to bleed. I AM SO NERVOUS! If I am this nervous I can't even imagine how he's feeling. I sent an email to the fight people and asked if they are allowing picture takin'. Need to know! Because how else will you all (all three of you) see anything if I can't take pics! Ok, anyway, no more exclamation points. If you pray, cast spells, chant to a whosey-whatsit, or just hope really hard please do so around 8pm Saturday may 19 for The Capt. He needs to win this thing.

Silly Cunt: I Only want Unified Brand Windshield washer concentrate in the 55 gallon drum. The kind we had before was too strong.

Me: Uhhh......... ummmm......what do you mean too strong?

Silly Cunt: Oh! It was just awful! It left a white film all over the windshields. Just Awful.

Me: Why? Um, well wait a minute.... I................ Uh................

And what I wanted to say:

HOLY SWEET BLUEBERRY FLAVORED JEEEESUS LADY!!! IT'S CONCENTRATE!!!!!!!!! PUT MORE WATER IN IT! IT WILL SAVE YOU MONEY STUPID! WHEN YOU BUY ORANGE JUICE CONCENTRATE DO YOU DRINK IT RIGHT OUT OF THE LITTLE CARDBOARD CYLINDER??? GAHMUTHERFUCKSTUPID DUR DUR DUR BRAIN OVERLOAD


*where's that hot bag o'nickles? Bitch needs some sense beat into her and I have a feeling I'd better pack a lunch*